Re:We might not be divorcing hudson: This is just me but, asking my ex if she slept with anyone else would be one of the first things I ask her. I would need to know this right away. And for me, this is so hypothetical it's not even funny.
Re:We might not be divorcing browngreen: Thank you all.
Blazin' if you needed to know right away and her answer was Yes.. she had slept with someone else before the divorce was filed, what would you do?
I think you all are right here. I need to be honest, for my own sake. There can't be any manipulation going on (of the truth).
The thing is that I wouldn't have done it if I hadn't thought I needed to move on.
My H has been all about divorce for so long. I never dreamed in a million years that he'd come around to not wanting one. I felt so screwed because I was in love with him but he didn't want me.
In some ways, I started this short term (never got off the ground) relatinoship to help me move on... to give me something else/someone else to think about. To at least feel attractive and desireable again... to see that maybe I can have a life wihtout my H in it.
ANd it sucked. If it did anything it pointed out how rare my H is and how rare what we had/have is, and how lucky I was to have experienced it at all, and in the long run, how sad I am knowing I won't get that lucky again.
I don't mean to sound like I'm defending what I did. I have no excuse, but I thought divorce was inevitable.
And now, since I did that, today I feel like it's too late for my H and I to be romantically involved again.
That makes me sad. But I'm really clear in that if he can't accept it as me his wife, maybe he still can on some level, as his friend.
I'd take that. I just want to know him again, at this point.
Not to sound desperate, but he's really meant a lot to me, and I need him in my life in any capacity.
AG/bg
Re:We might not be divorcing hudson: well bg,
Strictly hypothetically speaking here! If my ex and I did get back together to work on things and if I had found out that she slept with another man while we were still officially married....I would be very upset! I don't know what else to say.
Re:We might not be divorcing browngreen: Yeah, Who could blame you?
I'm betting my H is going to react a lot the way you are.
I wouldn't be upset by it, but it would tweak me out ever so slightly.
I wouldn't get mad, and it wouldn't change how I feel about my H, or what I want, but it would be in the back of my mind, which is maybe worse because it's those things that eat away at confidences and trust.
So, Blazin'... another question-- would you want to be told in person? How would be the best way to hear it?
I'm thinking I"ll go there this Friday and ask to see him. I'll tell him two things #1 that I love him and need to know him again, and #2 that I'm afraid it's too late for us romantically because I have been trying to move on, and on so doing was seeing someone on a short term basis.
That's about as pragmatic as I can put it.
Or should I only say, point blank, " I love you, but I slept with someone"?
Ag/bg
Re:We might not be divorcing hudson: Hmm. Personally, I would wait to tell him until he asks. I can't imagine he won't ask soon. But you know him best. Do you think he'll ask soon?
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