Re:long distance relationships JimB: It takes exceptional people to make an LDR work. If you don't think you're exceptional, you'll probably have other issue besides simple failure of your LDR. That said, we all have to decide for ourselves what will work for us. I've been in an LDR and found it unsatisfying, so I think I won't do it again (at least not on purpose).
Re:long distance relationships Smiley17: I personally don't oppose to a long distance relationship. Like many, I'm a single mom too, with two boys, and have often been told that I don't have enough time to make a relationship work. That I'm too busy. Plus, I like my space and home to be the way I want it to be.
I spent 12 years under the control of a man, and I like getting my life back on track on my own.
Of course, I wouldn't want it to be long distance forever, but all relationships take work and if it's meant to be, it will work out.
Just my 2 cents...
-KB
Re:long distance relationships Bubba: First - Jason & Melissa made it work and as far as I know just got married!
Second - LDR's, like anything, work or don't work based upon the people in them. They require more work. They require more patience. They require more trust. You have to be ready to invest and gamble a bit when comes to them. Make sure at the beginning you discuss things like who would move where. Can they move (aka if they have kids), can you see yourself with this person long term. How much are you willing to forgo to be with that person.
Third - yes, I do think the process is speed up when it comes to this type of relationship, for as your feelings grow stronger, you do not want to be away from the person. Which means one person is going to have to move. Hence the gamble.
In the end you have to be ready to handle it, for it is not like a normal one that starts off with dating, then slowly progresses. If you are not ready, or you cannot handle it, then don't even bother trying.
Of course these are just my thoughts, I have no real experience in the matter. LOL
Bubba Fatt
Re:long distance relationships sheydp: I have to add something here, too... I am a single mom. My free time consists of 8-10 pm, with a 3 year old running around, or the occasional evening after bingo with my grandma's when the kids are at their dad's. I really have no time for a "real-life" guy. My intimacy HAS to be, by nature of the status of my life at the moment, by voice/webcam... So a LD relationship sounds WONDERFUL at the moment. I get to raise my kids without interference, I get to have my house my own way, my money my own way - AND I would get to have someone special to share things with on my own time. The occasional "hot" weekend sounds oh so lovely too... (bringing her mind back to the thread) Anyway!!! For me, long distance relationship could meet my needs, allow me someone to care for, without having to disrupt my life too much until I KNOW that it is worth it - at which point it wouldn't be a disruption, but a "making things right" like it is for Amy (Congratulations, by the way!). I think a LD works - doesn't have to go super fast, or super slow, either. You can just get to know each other, share with each other, meet when it is possible, and let things take their own course. Yes, it IS a risk, because they might find someone local, or it may not work for a million reasons, but why not enjoy the association that you DO have? ANY relationship is a risk, and the speed not being what you are comfortable with is true in any new relationship too. Long distance is a good excuse, but not a good reason.
Shey
long distance relationships hudson: I vowed I would never get involved in another long-distance relationship. Well, here I am right back in another!
This is why I have a problem with them:
First off, things move too fast because the two people are forced to define their relationship early on.
Second, the two people don't get to hang out together enough to see if they will really get along.
Third, it's frustrating to talk on the phone all the time about stuff that is always so serious.
Fourth, it's hard to have fun.
What do ya'll think?
