Re:all of a sudden she's unhappy with herself and marriage Ilosther: Is it a bad idea to tell my wife (for now) about this webiste? I mean, it really is helping me, will it help her? Or just let her find it on her own? part of the problem, she doesnt have time to spend on the internet at work like me, her day is all go at work, then the son when we get home. possibly part of the problem, she has no time to herself, or she thinks, cuz i try to take care of everything if i know shes tired or just needs space. ugh ugh ugh
Re:all of a sudden she's unhappy with herself and marriage BMS: I don't know if the website would help her. It's the same situation with me. My wife works hard everday and doesn't have time to really think about what is going on. When she is home, we're together so she doesn't get much alone time. I feel my wife needs counsoling; then perhaps, she can do some self-analysis.
In a way I feel like a whimp because I use words like wimp on this website and because I've putthing up her BS. I've recieved some advice telling me to throw her out, but I must try.if she will. I won't wait around forever, and I must see her making more of an effort than just being together phsically. I don't want to give up at the first sign of problems. Perhaps, because we are just now starting to talk about real issues may make us stronger. Honesty is the key to the heart and key to a great marriage. Absolute, brutal, or perhaps tactful, honesty, about everything. I feel that a person bonds to another person when the share feelings; the more profound and closely guarded feelings, the more of a bond is created.
Re:all of a sudden she's unhappy with herself and marriage Ilosther: BMS, you are quickly becoming my best friend, lol.
"If you don't laugh, you cry"
Re:all of a sudden she's unhappy with herself and marriage BMS: It's something I wrote on a different post, but after going this for a few weeks now, I've noticed that the mornings are much better for me. I sit at work and think we have hope, there is a chance. Something hits me after lunch(maybe it's the crap I eat like Wendy's bacon cheeseburgers) but I lose confidence or hope. I get home several hours before my wife so all I have time to do is sit there and ponder. That's the worst time for me, especially if she is late coming home.
Sometimes we talk and things are good, and other times I want to literally grab her and throw her out of my house and my life. Especially when she plays the victim role. I do try to keep my emotions in check and to try the problem logically, but there is not logic to what is happening to me.
My mom left my Dad because she said she didn't love him. I have three brothers and I'm the second oldest. I was 12 at the time. My wife had stayed with my Dad and my stepmom for the past 6 months, and I know that he shared quite a bit about his divorce and know my wife is doing exactly the same thing my Mom did to my Dad. My Dad supports me in whatever I do. He was as stunned or perhaps even more stunned than I was. While staying out the house she would talk to them about how wonderful I was and how she couldn't wait until I got there. What a FARSE!
Anyways, in some way or another I know that things will work out for the best, even if what I think is the best isn't the way it turns out.
Re:all of a sudden she's unhappy with herself and marriage Ilosther: wow, do I know u? hehe, my parents divorce when I was 18, but that's cuz my dad was a cheater, but everyone, even her family supports me and wants this to work out. it's like she is fighting the world and wants to do it. there is definitely a self esteem issue on her end, but i thought i praised her and showed her i loved her and how important she was even outside of this marriage. i guess that's not enough when you don't know yourself. i'm holding onto hope that all this stress of career, houses, child has caused her to lose focus and question herself and her happiness and that she is takin it out on the closest person to her. i know it could be a stretch and me just tryin to classfiy her into something to make this easier. but that's how i am, i try to figure out facts and understand from that, not figure things out from unclear reasons that she has for not being happy and wanting to leave.
right now, we're still together, as painful as it is, but she was the one that sought the marriage counselor, so we'll start from there. maybe that's positive thing, we initially wanted to go separetly. i'm just so scared that the counsellin with just justify the fact that we are through.
oh yeah, mornings i seem to be closest to her also, i left yesterday after a good talk happy. we sleep separetly, one with the child, and one in the other room. i still go to her and hug her-i just can't stop doing that, she is my WIFE! i still want her to know i'm still there, even though she doesn't know if she wants it.
just how can u go from the week before kissing me like a wife, to cringing when i even attempt to????
i of course will never attack her or force anything, i am not like that, but my affection for her is still there and she needs to know if that in the end she wants to come back, she can.
me too, after lunch i feel like crap cuz i know i have no love to go home to anymore, except for my son, but that's different
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