Re:How do you meet someone in a bar / club? whatnext: Bring the food to her table and add seductive?
Sorry -- I really am no help here, and honestly I've never even tried in the bar context. What I hear over and over is that:
a. this is a numbers game. the more you play the more you win.
b. rejection is normal
c. confidence (dictionary: assurance: freedom from doubt) -- this is the key, I would think. freedom from doubt. so how to cultivate that? when I talk to women I don't know I always approach them as people that I would like to be friends with. why? because i have no doubts as to my ability to do that.
Maybe the key is to extend your comfort zone until you are totally confident that whatever happens you are "bulletproof" -- nothing is going to bother you.
Unless your concern is that you will develop a bad reputation, isn't the real concern that you'll fail? At least it would be for me.
Let me ask this, as a person who does not frequent bars or clubs: why do you want to pick up a woman there? what is attractive about that scenario to you? if you know what you want, you'll be better able to get it.
Re:How do you meet someone in a bar / club? LostTeacher: my friend is really good at this. she seems to so easily go up to anyone and talk to them. she thinks they are interesting, boom, she talks. they are cute, she's in there like a dirty shirt. she seems to have no inhibitions, no matter how much she has or has not had to drink.
i wish i had that kind of guts. i end up laughing with her, but not having a clue as to how to start a conversation.
and to be perfectly honest, unless i know the person from somewhere else, i don't know if the first relationship i want to be in, i want to be with some random person at the bar (have you seen some of the people that lurk around those places....i see the same guys on the prowl everytime i go). :P
Re:How do you meet someone in a bar / club? So_Lost: I was only curious.. A woman I know made the suggestion...
Re:How do you meet someone in a bar / club? jillieb44: I don't like that type of environment personally, so I wouldn't go there to meet anyone. Call me boring... LOL
Jillie
Re:How do you meet someone in a bar / club? jason_stl: So_Lost,
From personal experience I can tell you that the one thing that does not work is being the shy guy in the corner. If this fits your style of going out, then the bar scene probably is not going to be a good place to meet women, unless you play wingman to an ace.
What does work is attitude, a sense of humor and confidence. Depending on where you are going you should always dress accordingly. Don't show up in a suit and tie in a local pub and don't wear shorts, a tee shirt and flip-flops in a club.
Have your approach down cold - not scripted, but find a way of approaching women that you can repeat over and over again. That way you can always take out the things that don't work and modify the stuff that does work. This may sound funny but practice it in a mirror. Make sure you smile within the first few words out of your mouth, and you gently nod. It is an old sales trick, but dammit it does work. Practice it and soon it will become old hat - you will do it without effort.
More importantly, don't base your entire evening on the amount of digits you either give or take that night. Set out on the town with the idea that you are going to have fun. If you either give a woman your digits, or receive hers, it is a plus.
Just remember, the people you meet in bars/clubs are not necessarily meant for long-term relationships. Think of it more as a catch and release stream.
Actual results may vary.
Cheers, mate.
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