Am I Really Over Him? sigkapgirl: Hey!
My name is Kerry, and I'm new to the site. Basically, I have been separated from my husband for almost three months. I'm only 22, and we were only married for 8 months before he blindsided me with the news of an affair... with a MAN. Since that conversation, he has become a completely different person (I haven't talked to him in 2 months), but I feel like the person that I married and loved is dead. Is this normal?
I feel like I'm moving on, but at the same time, I'm afraid that maybe I'm just in denial. How do I know the difference?
I'm terrified that I'm all of a sudden one day just going to break down because I didn't properly deal with everything. It's also been particularly hard because, I swear to God, there were absolutely NO signs that something was wrong, or that he was cheating, or that he was gay. He is extremely good at pretending and lying.
I've kind of been going with the feeling that when someone that you love hurts you, betrays you, and then starts acting like a completely different person (stealing all of OUR money, blaming me, etc), that it makes it so much easier to get over because its obvious that you're better off without them. Do you think this true?
Okay, I'm stopping now! Sometimes its hard to STOP talking about it once I get started... but really, any help, advice, or your story would be SO helpful!
Thanks!!
Re:Am I Really Over Him? sourpuss: i think you've answered your own question there, sig.
"its hard to STOP talking about it once I get started"
you aren't "over" it, you're coping with it in the only way you know how.
a bit of my story:
i was a drama queen for a couple of weeks, wailing & crying, how will i ever live? then i realized that if it's over, it's over and there is nothing i can do but accept it, wish him well and move on.
then the horribleness of it sort of just floated away. I am moving on, i thought, i am dealing with my issues and i am going to be fine. 5 days i did not cry. 5 days i was glad to be alive, and to get out of bed every morning.
on the 6th day i woke up on "his" side of the bed and realized he was never coming back and the dream i cherished was over. i cried myself into a nose bleed and could barely stop long enough to call in sick to work.
it's been up & down since, but i know i'm not crazy, i am just dealing with the feelings as they come up. and down. and from left field. and from out of nowhere.
hang in there, it may hit you, it may not. it's different for everyone.
Re:Am I Really Over Him? jillieb44: I thought I was over my ex until my now ex-FIL sent me an email about how disappointed in me he was (I'm the one who left and took the kids). So I fired off an e-mail to tell him what an a$$ his son is, and then ended up venting to my stepmom today, as he hasn't given me a dime for groceries in nearly 4 weeks. ARGH!!
My new job doesn't start till next month and I have NO MONEY!!
Jillie
