Does anyone get this? MidwestHopeful: Why is marriage the one "mistake" a person isn't supposed to fix? I make a mistake at work, I fix it. I make a mistake on my taxes, I fix it.
If you marry the wrong man (or woman) and you go to fix it because you have the clarity to figure out it was a mistake, people starting throwing phrases at you like "you took vows" or "marriage is forever."
Where besides marriage and secret societies do people "take vows" these days? And lets not be silly, marriage simply isn't forever anymore.
You know what? I made a mistake when a married a man that was cold and selfish and awful to me. I got divorced. I fixed it.
Earlier I was reproached, by a divorced woman no less, saying that "some of us keep our vows." No ya don't! You're divorced. We all are! Some of us are happy, some of us are devastated, but is it really about the vows? Or the marriage? Of course not. Among all of us it is the broken hearts. I'm sorry they happen, but let's not miscategorize these things.
Re:Does anyone get this? tara: In rather cold but effective terms --
I see (civil) marriage as a contract, similar to one for employment or a lease. There is no such thing, legally, as a contract that can't be terminated under certain circumstances.
Just as the law provides for a way out of a bad lease, and a court would render a "you're employed here forever, just try to quit" contract void -- there is a legal procedure for terminating a marriage contract.
Re:Does anyone get this? down2basics: [quote author=MidwestHopeful link=board=20;threadid=12580;start=0#msg103637 date=1117778087"> And lets not be silly, marriage simply isn't forever anymore.
[/quote">
Really? Shouldn't it be?
Re:Does anyone get this? jillieb44: Why get married then??
Jillie
Re:Does anyone get this? timetobefree: Midwest,
While I don't necessarily agree with your whole post, I do totally agree with the part about admitting "I made a mistake. I am going to fix it, learn from it, and be a better person." This is something that bothers me, too. OTOH, I understand how serious marriage vows are. I really do. And I took mine with the understanding this was it, it was forever. OTOH, we are all human and make mistakes. And sometimes those mistakes are marrying the wrong person. Yes, it is a huge mistake. But it is a mistake, nonetheless. If we were all perfect, well...then divorce wouldn't exist. But we are not. All that being said, I am not a proponent for just deciding you married the wrong person and walking out. Rather, I am a proponent for going to counseling, working through the issues, and if they can't be worked through, admitting you made a mistake and moving on.
The people who cast stones regarding divorce are not perfect. They have made mistakes, too. Live and learn.
Amy
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