Re:Does anyone get this? MidwestHopeful: Good for you Jillie. Although I know it isn't entirely popular at ojar, I am a huge proponent of leaving to make your life work - whatever that means for each individual. We only get one life and if we waste it doing what somebody else has told us we're supposed to do (stay), then we've wasted all we've got. Good luck.
P.S. My ex did the sigh, and it does just make you feel like a f---ing moron. I've never felt so stupid as when I was with him. It feels good to wake up and not have someone scrutinizing my every move.
Re:Does anyone get this? myowncanoe: I know the sigh too! :D
Sometimes leaving is all that is left.
We each have to be whole people in a relationship - others are not there to complete us but to share our completeness with.
My H did not get this - and neither did I until I realised I could leave. Somehow (even after voluntarily chopping off my diseased arm) I am wholler than with that arm attached ... it consumed me and helped me feel small and unloved.
Editing to say: our relationship contributed to my feelings of *unloveableness*. I believed he loved me (and still does in the best way he knows how), it was just that I also believed that no one else could or would.
Re:Does anyone get this? MidwestHopeful: Myown, I think that is one of the most logical statements I have heard here:
"We each have to be whole people in a relationship - others are not there to complete us but to share our completeness with."
Thank you for being wise. :)
Re:Does anyone get this? StrongerThanUThink: Tonite when I called the magistrate to see if anything could be done about my ex's behavior - at first they explained I shouldn't let it get to me... then within minutes I was lectured on how I chose to marry this guy. It was crazy. I mentioned a legal issue (a major problem with the law he has) and she said marriage was for better or worse?????? She said that people go through bad times... and when I married him I should have known what kind of person he was...and I'm thinking... you don't know me...or him.. he's cheated, abused, lied, decieved, and been convicted... ummm exactly how far do you want me to take for better or for worse???? I mean... I know that sometimes people get upset over the idea of anyone divorcing... but... come on now...
Re:Does anyone get this? MidwestHopeful: Hey Stronger,
F--k 'Em! People can be judgmental a--holes. You've been through enough and what do they know about it?
Divorce Power! Try to stop us! :D
You sound like you didn't, but if they even put a chink in the armor, remember not to let them get to you.
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