To choose: Your Dream or Your Lady... sweets6879: Oh my Lord- I need help. It's been three weeks today, that I haven't spoken to my ex and that he decided that was it...and walked out.
We dated for 2 years, he lived with my son and I....
Yet, he traveled every month back and forth from Chicago to Colorado Springs to train...for wrestling.
Well, since April ...life has definitely been stressful, he was training for the U.S. Nationals...in Vegas and he flew in to Chicago to help my family move, after 6 years I was moving back home to save money the next year or two, to get a place for my son, myself and for my ex.
Well, huge transition, that just didn't go very well...it created stress in our relationship, I was overwhelmed with being the sole provider basically, (I work 8-4, his job is to train) I knew that going into this relationship, but at times, it's too much. Especially the last month, when the thank you's for dinners or whatever, were less and less heard.... then other petty things...
We finally May 13th, Friday morning, started talking again...and he said something that made me snap...what would it hurt to date other people and see what we had was real, that we are together for the right reasons, and if it's meant to be, God will bring us back together...(I snapped at hearing that, yes, was pacing the house and said I am gonna just end it..and was acting retarded, didn't hurt myself, just panicked, very childish) anyways...he continued to say, I love you, I love your son....I just have to do this, I have a small window, this is my last chance, 2008 and I have to give 100% of myself to wrestling, no regrets...then he said I choose wrestling.
So now it's been three weeks, and I have not had one phone call from him, I got a text message that was scripture from the bible(which made me ?? he can't talk for himself, but is hiding behind the Lord's words) then I get three days ago, in a text...I do not hate you, I just want to concentrate and move on with my life...now what?
PLEASE HELP ME!!! I AM LOSING IT, SO BEHIND AT WORK, CAN'T THINK OF ANYTHING BUT THIS...IT'S KILLING ME!!!
Lost and empty
J-
Re:To choose: Your Dream or Your Lady... pauly: sweets,
It seems that you can only respect his need for space,as hard as it is pursuance will only hinder you and send him further.
Personally I can't see why the dream and the lady cannot be paired,but that is just me.Maybe there are other factors,some of which may be obvious.
Give him the room he desires,look after yourself and keep posting here,there are so many people to help.
Re:To choose: Your Dream or Your Lady... pluscachange: sweets,
I'm sorry to hear you're going through this. I do not know why a dream and a relationship cannot be co-mingled. It makes no sense. And if he's wanting to "see other people" to "see if what we had was real", does he really want to give up a relationship in the first place? It doesn't sound like it, honestly.
I mean, if he said "I do not wish to be in *any* relationship because I wish to train for xyz" that would one thing. To say "I don't wish to be in a relationship while I train for xyz. Oh, and by the way, I'd like to date other women", just doesn't cut it on the logic meter, if you see what I'm saying? He doesn't want to be in a relationship to train for xyz, but he wants to get involved in relationships with other women? Say what?
Re:To choose: Your Dream or Your Lady... So_Lost: Sweet,
That is horrible! Im so sorry that you have to go through this. I am even more sorry if your son ever looked at this man like a father. I hope he realizes what he lost, and begs you to take him back.
Re:To choose: Your Dream or Your Lady... pluscachange: [quote author=whereiam link=board=1;threadid=12597;start=0#msg103763 date=1117812780">
Sweets,
First, let me say I'm really sorry for all the pain you are going through. This is no doubt a difficult, trying period in your life. Know that we are here for you.
There is no saying that he can't have both of his dreams. I have heard stories, however, of the stress that high-performance athletes can be endure. I can only imagine that it must take an incredibly strong woman to be there for such an athlete.
Could it be that he isn't pulling away from you so much, but rather that trying to zone in on his training? If so, are you prepared to give that to him as long as he may need? I say this because your happiness is important in this ... too. I'm not suggesting that you need to take a selfish look at things. Just that your happiness matters, too. What will make you happy? Will playing second fiddle be ok with you?
Hugs,
~whereiam
[/quote">
Oh, he's zoning in on something all right, and its not training:
[quote"> what would it hurt to date other people and see what we had was real, that we are together for the right reasons, and if it's meant to be, God will bring us back together..[/quote">
Now could somebody explain to me what that has to do with focusing on training for the Olympics...?
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