Re:To choose: Your Dream or Your Lady... sweets6879: Pluscachange:
From a man's perspective, that is exactly what I wanted to know. How is there any logic...you say you want to give 100% to the sport, yet, mention, other woman? don't get it either...
I appreciate your replies so very deeply!! You people are truly heaven sent. I feel so so torn, like I have all these tiny pieces laying all over the place, and can't pick any of them back up and put them into place.
I want to respect his wishes of space and all that, which I have pretty much. Prior to him texting me a few days ago, I only sent 2 emails ...nice ones of course, (pretty pathetic, eh?) And I left a couple vm's....
Then all I get is a I am concentrating ..do not hate you and am moving on ?? How do you just like that move on...from a woman who is 25 and a single mother, living on her own, let you in, gave you all she could...including let you into her son's life (and yes, my son loves him so very dearly, he got my son into wrestling ...so now my 6 year old wrestles)
I asked him no contact, and he said yes, no more emails or texts...time to focus on ourselves....
So do I do absolutely that, no more emails, trying to find some answers or closure, no more anything, just let who I thought was the love of my life ...walk away like that. Let him erase me and my son??
I did get into his vm and email and first found some chick he wrote an email too..that he met on the shuttle bus the day he flew back to colorado..and then i heard a vm he left this girl in illinois...(AGAIN WHY get involved with another girl from IL??)
So to me, it's proof that he doesn't really know what he wants, and maybe isn't telling me the whole truth and what is going on in his head.
How do you just erase two years with a live in girlfriend, talked of a future, plus my son....?? HOW?
I mean I know the last couple months I complained or things weren't so easy for us, but all relationships take work....and willingness to make it work....
Do you think he eventually will at least talk to me?
Not too mention, I am super close with his mother, everywhere I go...it's how's N...just really really hurts and I don't know where to turn, should I fly out there, and make him talk to me?
Re:To choose: Your Dream or Your Lady... pauly: what exactly are you implying pluscachange,that there is no god or no olympics?
Re:To choose: Your Dream or Your Lady... pluscachange: Wow.
I've heard it said, and I tend to believe actually, that when a person (man or woman) says "maybe we should date other people" they generally already have somebody they are seeing or somebody in mind that they are wanting to see. Sounds like he's the former (already has somebody). This is just a hunch, but based on the vm you said you had, I think it's fairly certain.
I'm sorry if I'm sounding harsh, I don't mean to be.
I can't give you odds on him wanting to get back (or not) honestly. I know I wouldn't try to force him into a confrontation. As to how a person can turn their back on their family, I just don't know. Dreams or no dreams, family comes first. Period. There is no schism here, there are plenty of married athletes, even Olympians, who manage to get by without seperating. What's missing is his desire to make it work, if you ask me, and given his words (and vm) I don't think this is anything about "focusing on wrestling" at all.
:(
Re:To choose: Your Dream or Your Lady... sweets6879: Whereiam...
Yes, you have it figured out all right. He doesn't want to zone in on the training, he has world team trials june 19th, so 2 weeks from tomorrow. And yes, we had been fighting a lot, very stupid petty things....
But the fighting was due a lot too, I dont' feel appreciated. I am a very strong, independent, successful, young, single mother....I have been doing the long distance, (he's home 2 weeks ..gone the other two) ...for 2 years....
We kept it going though, through morning wake up calls, through emails, through midnight talks on the phone....
But the month of april everything kind of changed a little...he got more into WARRIOR mode, where he's more insensitive to my needs...etc...
And all I need and ask of...is reassurance and some appreciation and affection...for crying out loud, I work...I pay for the things we do, when he was in state, he would take my car....(we got in a car accident a year or so ago , he rear ended me) so he was out of a car...takes mine...when his phone would get shut off, i would give him mine...i took care of him, in every way that I could....
Anyways, I just started getting I guess needy, in his eyes, wanted to be shown more affection, be told thank you...and not have to mention it first....wanted to be included a little more, right before he was leaving...and he wanted to spend time with the guys....
Now...why can't he train YES pluscachange..for the OLYMPICS....
and have a relationship?
He doesn't deal with stress well, and he said it's just too hard, that we have tried for 2 years and it's hard on the both of us...that right now we are going different ways and directions...
He doesn't want anything taking away from his concentration on this tournament or his career ..his sport for now...and i guess in so many words i was doing that...
Thing that kills me, is he trains fine...8 hours a day...on a full day...somedays he has off, and some days aren't live days or full days, so not as hard....
Doesn't work....got a part in a wrestling movie, so he is practicing lines but other than that...that's it....
Isn't everyday life stressful, that's what always scared me, he runs...any sign of stress...and books....
No roots!!!
(the night before he left I was stressed about my 5 year old being behind on letter recognition and writing his numbers and was like I need help...just felt like I was sinking..like I can't do this all)
I wasn't entirely happy, being 2nd best to wrestling ALWAYss.....
But I AM NOT HAPPY NOW EITHER!!!
Any advice...
Re:To choose: Your Dream or Your Lady... pluscachange: [quote author=pauly link=board=1;threadid=12597;start=0#msg103772 date=1117813439">
what exactly are you implying pluscachange,that there is no god or no olympics?
[/quote">
Say who what?
I have no idea what you're referring to, and scanning back on my posts, I don't see where I even vaguely implied either of these two things. ???
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