Need help to move on osso76: What I have read here so far is great. I thing I have found an excellent way to hear back from people that might be going through what I am or have in the past.
My wife of 6 years has decided that she does'nt love me any more. Like all couples, we have had our problems which we would resolve. Our problems were usualy the same: I don't make her feel like my wife, I don't spend enough time with our kids and her, I don't show her my true feelings. I would change my ways for a few weeks, then back to the same thing.
Well last week we talked a bit and she started telling me how we have grown distant from one another. I asked her what it was she meant, and she just said we have grown into 2 seperate paths.
For the last month I have has a feeling that she might have some one else in her life. I asked her about it and she said that there was no one, just I. I trusted her and accepted that. The feeling grew more and more about this and I confronted her about her and a coworker. She said they were friends and that was it.
To make a longer story short, I just found out that in fact they have had feelings for one another. He is married as well. Their relationship from what I was told had never gotten physical, but regardless, they have had something going on.
I need to move on and get over her, but I can't. Even though she has hurt me this bad, I still am not mad at her. Ther is so many more details being left out but I don't want to write a longer book than what I already have.
Re:Need help to move on sourpuss: it takes time. lot's of time. hard time, emotional prison sentence.
welcome to ojar.
is a divorce certain? have you separated yet?
you say yourself you've changed your ways before but always gone back to the way you were. is it possible that deep down, YOU don't want to be different than you are? there's nothing wrong with feeling that, but she's entitled to what she wants as well. it's unfair to expect her to be unhappy in the marriage.
take a little time alone with your thoughts. be sure that this marriage is what YOU want as well, knowing that you would have to make long-term, meaningful changes in your life, not just lip-service.
Re:Need help to move on osso76: the divorce is pretty certain from she tells me. She is right now on a cruise I bought her as a gift, with HIM! We were supposed to go together and less than a week before, she decides that it wasn't a good idea for us to go. I told her that while we were there we could try and work things out..she said she didn't want the 'atmosphere' to cloud her feelings.
She said she was going alone. I asked her the night before, and she said once again she was going alone. She is not alone...She said she was going to go and clear her mind and think of it all...but how could you when you are focusing your energy on something else?? I still don't hate her, I am still tryiyng to convince her she is making a mistake. I have talked to HIS wife, and have learned a lot about him. She will be hurt one more time, and I hate to just stand by and watch it happen....
