Mixed Feelings JazzBaby: So, my attorney's office called to let me know that the STBXH finally came in and signed the papers. That's all I've been waiting on for two months now. When I first found out, I was SOOO happy to know that the divorce is almost final. But now I'm suddenly very sad. I thought I was finally past all this crap, but here I sit, crying like I haven't done in months. WHY??? I'm happy now; happier than I thought I'd ever be again. I KNOW he's a liar and a cheater, and I also know that his feelings for me run no deeper than that stupid puddle of water out in my driveway. I should be doing a little dance right now, but I'm so incredibly sad that this chapter of my life is about to end.
Re:Mixed Feelings rss: I'm no expert, but it seems to me logically you KNOW the truth. However, that doesn't mean that you won't feel the loss of a person from your life. I guess it's a subconcious feeling of knowing that he's no longer actively involved in your life (even as a protagonist) that is making you feel sad.
The loss of a person is always hard, whether through death or break-up. My heart goes out to you.
Re:Mixed Feelings ChiefWiggum: [quote author=JazzBaby link=board=1;threadid=12612;start=0#msg103837 date=1117817837"> he's a liar and a cheater, and I also know that his feelings for me run no deeper than [/quote">
Jazz,
You're in an eazy situation! Mine is more difficult. She is a liar and a cheater (as of a few months ago), but she has strong feelings for me and wants to stay together. Talk about a torn heart.
BTW, congrats!
CW
Re:Mixed Feelings sourpuss: you're mourning the life you thought you'd have the day you said "i do", the life that was supposed to last forever.
Re:Mixed Feelings MidwestHopeful: Jazz,
I know that feeling. My husband agreed to a joint petition. I filled out the paper work, he signed I filed. I thought I would feel such relief that it would be done and I cried the entire weekend. Even my husband couldn't understand it.
I think what our compatriots have said is correct. It's mourning the loss of what we thought we'd never lose, a love, even if that love has waned.
Here's my suggestion. Take a night or a weekend. Get yourself a bottle of wine and a box of tissues. Spend the weekend going through pictures, watching the wedding video, writing him sad goodbye letters you'll never send and have yourself a good cry over what you lost (even if your head knows it's better off, your heart is still hurting). You should mourn your loss, even if you know you're better for it.
Then put the pictures, the letters, the video and anything else special that you want to keep but don't ever want to see again in a box. Wrap it in brown paper and string and put it somewhere deep in the back of a closet you almost never open.
Some day when you're feeling stronger and that pesky ache that doesn't make any sense is almost gone. Then take that stuff out again and remember it fondly.
I think it helps to consciously exorcize those demons (him). It makes sense that it hurts, but maybe you can put that hurt away with that inconspicuous brown paper box and take it out and remember it when you're ready.
It sucks to have that aching feeling. I know.
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