Re:Mixed Feelings LostTeacher: i go through this same thing every couple of weeks. i get a little new information, and i feel like i am starting all over again.
first, it was finding out the initial stuff, like he had been thinking about this seperation for a long time, and just didn't have the guts to tell me.
then, it was that it really was final. that he was packing my stuff, talking to lawyers, going to see the bank.
next was moving out, and seeing my stuff piled up by the door, ready to go.
next, finding out that after only 5 months, he was dating, but lying about it.
then, it was signing the seperation papers. feeling like a weight was lifted, but cried all the way home.
now, it's knowing that this woman has moved into what was our house, living there, sleeping in my bed, taking the bus to work with him.
*sorry, not meaning to hijack the thread*
i think that until the final steps are done, and you are no longer a part of each others lives, you are going to have those mixed feelings. i know that i grieve the loss of the life that i wanted, that i worked so hard for. i grieve for the person that i thought i married, that i loved so deeply for so long. that i feel cheated, and there is not a darn thing i can do about it.
don't feel bad about being sad, it's natural, just let it out, and work through it, and know that we are here for you.
Re:Mixed Feelings JazzBaby: [quote"> Take a night or a weekend. Get yourself a bottle of wine and a box of tissues. [/quote">
Well, I got that part right anyway. ;) I went out, got a pizza, a bottle of wine, and a new book......ate half the pizza, drank all the wine, and apparently read 2 chapter of the book, but that bit is a little foggy. :)
Thank y'all for the encouragement -- I'm a lot better now.
Re:Mixed Feelings hollygolightly: One thing I read that really helped me put my mixed feelings in perspective is this....
Are you mourning the loss of the relationship or the loss of what you always wanted the relationship to be?
Re:Mixed Feelings JazzBaby: That's it exactly, Holly....it's accepting the reality of what a train wreck our marriage turned out to be, as opposed to the fantasies I was holding on to. That, and I don't handle my own failures/mistakes well -- was raised by parents (God love 'em) who instilled in me at an early age that I'm a smart girl who should be making wise choices and who will at all costs not fail. It's taken several years and plenty of therapy ( ;) ) for me to realize that nobody is perfect and that everyone messes up at some point; and that all I can do is pick myself up, dust myself off, and realize that I know a little more now and have the rest of my life to live. AND that along the way, I'm probably gonna mess up again at least a couple times. :)
