Re:On the Live a Lie Topic chantel: It is amazing how much a release it was for me to tell my story here, in fact that day was my 26th birthday and I was in need to just tell someone and get it off my chest( I guess as my present to myself). I dont know what it was that evening, if it was the fact he didnt even know it was my birthday, or if it was just the empowerment I felt after finding this website, reading all the stories and realizing there is life without someone in it, but I threw him out that night. It didnt go well and I had to call the police, but it just felt right, and it was well overdue.
I woke up this morning(day 2 alone) and I felt an overwhelming calmness, even the kids seemed in clamer moods the whole day yesterday, and my oldest I could see he was more relaxed in his actions as well, that of course brought me to tears, but at the same time a smile to my face.
I have realized in the past 48 hours any amount of money or material things can be replaced, that the years of my life waiting for some ideal moment could not. I have stopped looking at it like what I wont have(ie financial security), and focused on what I will gain like myself dignity back, my right to feel safe and be myself. I think I had lied to myself for the biggest part, I knew I could make it on my own, I was just so afraid to make that step.
Untill I read your posts, and I am thankfull for people like you who have shared your stories to help people like myself. I will keep in touch, and hopefully help someone like myself someday too.
