he said sorry... wowee: Today I got several e-mails explaining that he knows he was messed up in the head, he knows he will never find another wife as good to him as I was, he is so sorry for what he did. He didn't say he wanted to get back together & he knows I would say no - if for no other reason then I just can't toy with my children's emotions that way. But why doesn't the "I'm sorry" make me feel any better? Why doesn't it give me any form of relief - in fact quite the opposite I have been a wreck ALL DAY from all these e-mails. And of all the things he said - all I can focus on is that his comment about another wife - and the mear idea of this kills me inside. Why doesn't he just get a knife & cut my heart right out, I think it would hurt less then I do right now.
Re:he said sorry... wowee: There is NO CHANCE - he doesn't want one, and I emotionally can't give him one even if after 13 years I my heart would want to. At this point the pain of being with him again would be worse then the pain of being without - wow- I think that is the first time I realized that!
Re:he said sorry... wowee: I understand WHY you are saying that, but the truth is I am as hopeless as a hopeless romantic can get & even I know for sure it will never be again. Too much betrayal, to much pain & too much to risk by letting my kids get hurt AGAIN. I almost think it is just easier when he is being a jerk - like he was just two days ago. His newfound sense of regret probably has more to do with us working out the divorce, support, visitation agreement then any real feeling on his part.
Re:he said sorry... wowee: I can truely appreicate how you feel - I was once the person prodding people to be positive before they gave up. I was once the person who didn't believe in divorce. But mine is a case with only one possible ending. He didn't just lie to me about minor things, he didn't just now start doing these things, they have gone on for over 5 years without my knowledge, he didn't just cheat on me once, he didn't just cheat on me with other women - but men too! All that I ever loved about him was an illusion. I've never loved the man he truley is. And with that said... it means I never have loved or been loved at all. :'(
