Wanting to fix my marriage Quite confused: We were married for 17 years, we had problems but nothing big. Two years ago we separated after my wife had an afair, and said she needed to be on her own. I went through all the usual, pain rejection, total sadness. After about a year into the separation I had a short afair. My wife also started seeing someone else. I say this woman again but soon realized I was just running from my pain. My wife says that I am not the reason she doesn't want to be with me. That I was a good husband and father, we have two girls one is 13 the other is 7. Recently after trying unsuccessfully to get back together I told her that if she didn't want to be with me that we should go ahead with the divorce, she said she's not ready, not sure if it's the right thing to do. Because I am in a much better state of mind I agreed to wait at least for awhile. She's still seeing the other man, but says she is thinking of ending it because sometimes she want her marriage back. We have become much more at ease with each other and get along great. We work in the same office and recently became very intimate. She seems to want to be with me, but continues to see the other man, I am so confused...what should I do? does anyone have any advice?
Re:Wanting to fix my marriage Samarra: I have to agree with whereIam on this one. "Sometimes she wants the marriage back" ??? Well..of course...no real reason to work on things when she has you and the benefits of another man also.
Don't make it so easy for her. You seem to know what you want...and I'm willing to bet she does too. Lay it out for her real easy. Should you stay or should you go. If she says she can't decide...then you do it. Do not give her all the power. Let her see you mean it and give her something to miss. Otherwise...you could be hanging on for quite some time. She may decide,that with you gone, and only her boy-toy to play with...she wants you back. Then again it could work out the other way...but isn't it better you know and can move on if need be?
Sorry if this sounds harsh...but she's taking advantage of you...and you don't deserve that. Good Luck.
Re:Wanting to fix my marriage ajw: At times like these,don't believe her words,believe her actions....how she can say she wants to work on the marriage while she's still with this other guy.....thats f**king twisted.Your best bet is to remove yourself from the situation.....she knows where you are,but if she's serious she needs to be either 100% with you,or 100% gone,don't let her play you like this.She has know reason to give up the other guy,because she thinks you'll just wait around indefinitely to pick up the pieces,you need to show her that is not the case.
Good luck
Andy
