afraid of love mine: her father comitted suicide at the age of 12
he had a split personality disorder
she fears it is heriditary
i am not so sure
yes she has issues
The question is ...she has run away ....but she is holding on to a few things..just in case she wants to come back
what is the best way to deal with this situation...
i know she loves me and i love her....
but unfortunately....by thinking she was better off with out me
she cut herself off.... and has just hurt herself even more...in away making herself even more frightened
Re:afraid of love AmyMarie1972: If she is holding on to things incase she wants to come back then she hasn't given up on the idea of ever returning, however it is up to you if you want to wait for her to come to that decision, a decision that she may never reach.
There is nothing more that you can do other than be there for her if she decides that she wants to face reality. I know that you have already tried everything to make her see that you will be there but it is now up to her.
Continue with your life the best way that you can, taking care of yourself. How long you are willing to wait is your decision.
Stay strong and take care
Amy
Re:afraid of love charmed: Hello "mine" :D
Your story is very sad. I sense the deep love you have for this girl.
Does she have anyone to talk to about her problems or is counseling an option? Maybe she has held her emotions in for so long that she has no idea how to let them out. Maybe she doesn't trust letting them out.
I feel she ran so that she wouldn't have to face herself. I don't think she's afraid of you. But being with you means letting both sides, good and bad, show and to her that is scarey.
I don't know the answer because most of it lies in her hands, but I would suggest not pushing, yet not abandoning her unless being a part of her life begins to hurt you too much. But in the meantime you have to look after yourself.
I wish you the very best :D
`charmed
Re:afraid of love mine: thanks charmed........
you already know the answers........
Re:afraid of love Samarra: I have loved someone with all that is in my heart...just like you. So many people do.
It is sad when they don't/can't love us back the way we want them too.
The feelings of helplessness and frustration are inevitable...but what can you do ultimately but let go?? Not only for their sake...but yours? I'm sorry for your pain...it's so palpable in your posts...but try to detach a little. Give her time to think things over. This is not an overnight process...for some it takes years...especially when there's abuse involved.
The best gift we can give people we love sometimes is the time they need to work out their own issues. When she is able to do this...maybe she will see the love you have for her.
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