Why do I always put my foot in it?!? Spectrum: Ack.....
I've decided on a new rule. Never, EVER go out on a date with someone from your apartment complex. NEVER.
After my neighbor left a note on my door a few days ago, we started talking about getting together at some point. Thursday night I ran into him in the parking lot when I arrived home and he asked if I wanted to catch a quick bite to eat. I agreed.
Dinner was fun, and I had a good time. I don't think there are any major sparks here, though.
Well, guess what..... Yesterday the guy called my cell phone 7 times, left me two messages while I was at work "just to say hi," and left me THREE text messages at various times that all said the same thing.... "Hi beautiful."
Sometime around 7:15 or so I returned his call, as he "had something he wanted to discuss with me." Of course, when I asked him what this "something" was, he said, "Oh, we can talk about that when we get together at some point." Weird.
Also, I work about two miles up the road at a stable, which I told him while we were at dinner. While talking on the phone he told me proudly how he happened to be in the area of the stable yesterday and spotted my car. Wonderful.
I told him I was going to have some dinner and take a nap prior to heading out to watch my mare (she is due to foal any time now). He then called me back at about 10:00 to tell me he'd just ordered pizza and I was welcome to come over and eat with him before leaving for the stable.
I told him I'd already eaten (which I had), and went out to walk my dog. When I was heading back into my apartment, he was walking around outside. I went in to put my dog away. When I came out to leave for the stable, he was standing outside smoking ( :P ) and apparently waiting to walk me to my car.
Am I totally outer limits, or is this guy just WAAAYYY overstepping his boundaries? I went out on one date with him, and now he's all clingy and freaking me out.
I will also add that this guy is recently divorced and has three kids. I think he really just still has some loneliness issues from his divorce, but at the same time I am now feeling like I can't so much as leave my apartment without being watched.
Your thoughts? What is the best way to handle this? Any tactful suggestions on how I can convey to this guy that I'm uncomfortable with this with as little hurt feelings as possible?
Spectrum.
Re:Why do I always put my foot in it?!? Suddenly Single: Hey Spec,
YESSSS!!!!! He IS overstepping his boundaries. How recent is his divorce? He may not realize that he is acting a little off because as we all know - we are NOT thinking or acting very clearly or sanely during divorce time. Maybe sitting down and talking to him on a friend to friend basis might help him - maybe this was his first date? maybe he just doesn't know how to switch from being a dad/husband to a dating single man. He is acting a little bizarre - maybe talking to him will help you determine if he is just having a rough time or is just a nutso!
Good Luck! SS
Re:Why do I always put my foot in it?!? AmyMarie1972: Hi Spec,
I would guess that the guy is looking for an instant replacement for his lonliness that he is feeling and he has picked you. You have got to get rid of him. I agree that sitting down and talking to him is the best option. Tell him that you dont want a relationship right now, that you are happy with the way things are. Hopefully he will back off.
Good luck
Amy
Re:Why do I always put my foot in it?!? JimB: IMO, ya gotta take the bull by the horns on this one.
Tell him you have something to discuss with HIM, and it can't wait. Then tell him bluntly and firmly that you're not comfortable with clingy behavior. Don't worry about hurting his feelings - they're going to be hurt no matter what, and he needs to understand where you're coming from more than he needs his feelings left intact.
Sounds like the problem you have is that you're too interesting and too attractive. As such, you'll probably run across this sort of scenario from time to time. Now would be a good time to develop some hard-a-s-s skills for dealing with people who aren't worth wasting your time with.
I wouldn't rule out dating anyone from Melrose Place. There are freaks everywhere - you just happened to find one there. Maybe you can find a way to pre-qualify guys before you actually spend quality time with them....
Re:Why do I always put my foot in it?!? jillieb44: And how did he get your cell phone # after one so-so date? Mine is a closely guarded secret, LOL.
Jillie
Click More for the next page.
