Re:I asked to see him for our anniversary francesca: Would love to talk rjack0612...or anyone on this board! IM to francesca714.
I swear it is so confusing, isn't it? I admit it to myself that I could have been a better wife, :mended:, and I did admit it to him during a long conversation once after I gave him back the dog. (I miss my puppy so much). He was impressed but not on the same page yet (he says he doesn't know if he will ever be). He's in the anger/resentment phase where he is taking NO responsibility. In fact, he thinks the next woman should just accept him for who he is and that is that (his words). He doesn't own up to any failures in communication or much of anything. It's a shame. :(
I guess i am hoping to honor our anniversary in a non-abusive way. I want to be adults, we've hardly acted respectfully so I'm not sure why I think this could happen now.
We also need to make decisions on who is filing against who, when and how. He wants to go the cruelty, speedy route where you can get divorced fast (at least he mentioned this a few times). I wanted to do the 18 month no fault route. We're already half way there and I don't plan to get married anytime soon, lol.
But the more i think of it and hear from you guys, the mroe I think it is best to have a phone conversation. Anyway, that's where I am at today. With my emotions, tomorrow might be a different story, lol.
Re:I asked to see him for our anniversary ChiefWiggum:
Good luck! Emotional topics are off limits! Keep it professional... a boring non-eventful dinner with him is 1000X better than getting your feelings hurt. Especially after all the steps "forward" you've taken since January.
CW
Re:I asked to see him for our anniversary francesca: Thanks Chief!
Quick update. it's Tuesday and he has not called like he said he would. Our anniversary is 2 days away, and I already made plans for tomorrow nite. I'm not expecting a thing...if I do get the "call", it will be just that---a phone conversation.
We have been emailing about the settlement papers, however it's been ALL BUSINESS. To be continued...
Re:I asked to see him for our anniversary francesca: HI all,
It is STILL all about him. Today, the day before the big anniversary, we textd a bit about the settlement. It's the only topic he seems to want to talk about. That's fine. So he mentioned he was home sick. So I said, sorry to hear, do you need anything? He wrote, NO, I'll be fine, just call your attorney.
How cold is that?
So I said, boy do you hate me. He wrote, I don't. Just want this $hit overwith, too many responsibilities and I need to get rid of one.
Am I just a responsibility he wants to get rid of? No mention of our anniversary, nothing.
I am about to quit on the whole thing. How many times can the same person break your heart??
Re:I asked to see him for our anniversary backtosquareone: Maybe the fact that you're about to quit on him is a good thing. It's brutal to keep pouring energy and emotion into a relationship that gives you none in return.
I think that's part of what helped me start to pull me out of the dumps; realizing that I didn't have the energy to devote to someone who didn't want it anymore.
Stay strong and try to keep looking forward. I wish I had something more profound to say than that :-\
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