separated after 21 years Dr. J: My wife of 21 years left me on mother's day. Since then, she has returned and left again three times. I feel completely stressed out over this situation because I still love her and she says she still loves me. She also says she's confused. This is not the first time she has left. Over the years, she had left three other times, only to come back. This time, however, my mental state is taking a beating. Anyone have any advice how I can cope with this problem. Everyone who knows us says she'll be back again, but I need help coping in the meantime.
Re:separated after 21 years slowlearner: Hi Dr J, sorry to see you need to post on this board. :'(
Welcome to Ojar.
Have you tried counceling to find out what the problem is? 21 years is a lot to throw away.
Even so, you have to start taking care of you, and not just sit around being miserable and hoping she'll come back yet again. If you think about it, why would she even want to come back to someone who is miserable?
I guess you have more spare tme to yourself now, so are you able to take up or resume a hobby? Anything that will take your mind off your problems.
You are certainly not the only person in this sad old boat, and I;m sure there will be someone around soon who can help you better than I can.
Take care, and stick around.
