in a quagmire mick: 6 years ago i asked my husband for a divorce - we dated for 4 years and were married for 4 and i knew walking down the isle that i shouldn't be getting married - we were separated for a year and during that time i met a man that riveted me - the first time i went out with him i came home and said to myself - that is the man that i am going to marry - well we dated during the last couple of months of my separation and shortly after the divorce was finalized - he fell off the radar - i was really upset but i figured that it was a combination of my divorce and all the emotions that i had to settle within
2 years ago this man e-mails me out of the blue and i ended up meeting him for lunch - it was wonderful and i have been seeing him ever since - however this past year has been rough - he has been through a lot of really stressful things and i have tried to be there for him but about february i couldn't take it anymore - i was constantly feeling sad and empty - i tried to break it off with him but he asked for another chance - asked to see if we could just take it slow - then it got really wierd b/c it felt like things were just standing still so i broke it off again b/c it was too hurtful
he still continued to call and again we are just starting to see each other - i love this man with all of my heart but my biggest things is that we don't see enough of each other - other than going to dinner or watching a movie a few times a week - we rarely spend anytime during the day together yet everytime he has a family/friend gathering he wants me to be there with him
he is very difficult to talk to b/c he doesn't talk - he has very infrequently told me that he loves me. but i am tired of spending so much time alone - i want to really be with someone - i just don't know what to do
Re:in a quagmire Samarra: Hi mick,
Very confusing situation for you. You say you love this man and that may very well be...and maybe he feels the same for you...but I'm going to roll out a very old cliche for you...Sometimes love is not enough.
I'm not saying this is so in your case...only that a big part of any relationship is communication. Try again to sit him down and explain your feelings of needing and wanting more. You have every right to do this. Sometimes, I think, we as women are afraid to speak up because we somehow feel less entitled...or maybe his needs should come first. A good relationship can't always be exactly 50/50 but should be pretty close. So tell him one more time.
Breaking up and getting back together again and again because of unresolved issues is painful and tiring.
I hope all goes well for you.
