Re:Really want to call... ti-poux: Hang in there jt,
That moment will pass. It is very hard but you have
to stick to your guns.
(((((((HUGS))))))
Chantal
Re:Really want to call... LostTeacher: i totally understand how hard it is to not rely on someone, especially when they were a part of your life for so long.
i was best friends with my stbxh for many years. i thought we were everything together. but i was wrong, i made a mistake. and even though he is moving on, and not taking a second to look back, i am standing behind holding the empty pieces.
today has probably been my hardest day of no contact in a long time. my grandma is going in for surgery tomorrow, serious surgery, and i just want to talk to him about it. he loved her, or at least i thought he did, and i feel like he is the only one who would understand how i am feeling right now.
but i can't phone him.
ABSOLUTELY, POSITIVELY, COMPLETELY NOTHING GOOD WILL COME OF IT.
how do i know that?? because the last time i called, the OW answered the phone, and i felt 100X worse than if i had just left it alone. so now, no matter how much i want to do it, i am not going to.
so what am i doing instead??
1. laundry that i have let pile up for 2 weeks
2. cleaning my apartment (which i haven't quite started yet)
3. having a beer (yes, for me, a big deal)
4. chatting on here
you do whatever it is to get through the moment. even if you want to cry, cry. do anything but call. every time you find yourself looking at the phone, look at the computer instead. remove his number from your phone, block his e-mail, do whatever it takes. because take it from experience.....IT WILL NOT HELP!
Re:Really want to call... reck: After 27 years with her i still feel like im living without some vital organs even after what she has done to me over the last 6 months. But it just has to be delt with or die.... and i arent going to let her play the martyr :P
LOSTTEACHER SAID:
[color=Teal"> ABSOLUTELY, POSITIVELY, COMPLETELY NOTHING GOOD WILL COME OF IT.
how do i know that?? because the last time i called, the OW answered the phone, and i felt 100X worse than if i had just left it alone. so now, no matter how much i want to do it, i am not going to.[/color">
Too true, you crave contact and imformation and when you get it it gives your guts a twist. No contact is hard but its better than the alternative
Re:Really want to call... riversandlakes:
it's strange contact is still craved, though logically thinnking nothing good can ever come out of it. this person has cut you deep. he/she chose to do so.
what good is such a contact for those without kids?
he/she has done it once, under the clear blue sky, fearing not the sunshine because they pretend to be humans, stabbing you again is a deed easily repeated.
No problems.
Steer clear of this iceberg...
Re:Really want to call... Samarra: Wanting contact is only human...even for those without kids. When you build up so much love and wanting in a relationship...to have it gone in a heartbeat is devastating. Thus the need to hang on at all costs.
Then when emotions clear...logic sets in an we see the situation for what it is.
If some of us need help in this process and need to rely on one another...well that's what we're here for.
One more time....Don't Do It.
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