No sex SoSADD: My story, it sucks, yet I still try to deal for some reason. I have been married for five years, and am 27 atm. My husband is 30. He is very non emotional, not sure how to explain in a dramtic way so bare with me here. We don't cuddle on the couch when watching movies, we don't go out together, anywhere. No movies, no shopping, no dates, nothing. Shopping i mean like even his shopping ie games, ya know guy stuff . IN fact he dosen't leave the house but to work. that's it. He sits and plays on his pc. I do also, so not judging there. but i go out with friends or just go hang out doing something different. I again tried to make a day full of his things today. We ending up fighting even before we got into where I was taking him for lunch. (awesome burger joint) day ruined, we can't do anything together without fighting.
So the no sex thing, we have sex about 2 or 3 times a year. It's been once so far this year and it's June. I am so unhappy. Most the time I just go on with my days, but it catches up with me , like today. I feel so unloved. I used to be able to say at least we where great riends, but I can't even say that any more. Do I think he's cheating? No i don't, really. Not saying he couldn't just i don't think he is. someone out there I hope has been in this situation. please throw me a line, and help me sort thru this all. I love him, I care about him, but I can't imgaine having my life this way for another year, let a lone 50.
Re:No sex Shanna: Welcome to Ojar. There are others here who will be able to better relate to you than me. I just wanted to tell you I am glad you found us!!
Re:No sex sourpuss: welcome to ojar, i am sorry you had to find us like this.
you need to talk to him, or else nothing will change. do it in a calm, non-confrontational way. make it about you, instead of about him, so he won't feel attacked ("i need us to spend more time together to feel connected", instead of "you never take me anywhere")
it may be the hardest thing you ever do, but you must, or this will be your life forever (or until he decides he's leaving)
Re:No sex SoSADD: There is so much to say, didn't want to drone on and on. I have done the talking, I do very much respect him. His answers for years if he even gets that far before getting pissed, is I don't care, and deal with it. I have done, the whole line of trying to get thru to what the "prob" is from screaming, crying, talking to him, making him feel totally secure, councling, saying some not so nice things, begging for any kind of attention, everything, All in which I am not proud of, but am honest at least. Once i even got him into the drs and he asked about health related things. Nope not that either. (i really thought that day everything was going to be so much better when we realized it was a health issue) it wasn't and he now just won't let me close to him. Okay to clear up something lingering in the backs of your minds, I am not a totall knock out, but am good looking. medium hieght and weight blonde, blu eyes, and top it off I am pretty entertaining, and well liked. (wow helped me feel a bit better saying those things hehe ) If i were a guy, i'd be all over me :P lol
So keep it comming and I will fill in what is nessasary. Thanx for all the help guys. it helps just to talk about it
Re:No sex sourpuss: at the end of the day, you have to decide what YOU want out of life. is the relationship you have "enough"? if he never changes, is this a life you can see yourself leading in 5 years, 10 years, 25 years? if the answer is no, you may have to walk away. if his attitude towards your unhappiness is "i don't care, deal with it", perhaps you should consider leaving.
as you will find from reading many of the posts on this site, sometimes love isn't enough.
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