Re:disappointed by lack of family support reck: [quote author=francesca link=board=20;threadid=13080;start=0#msg108240 date=1118673878">
And just think, we know about hardcore pain. Doesn't it feel like you handle just about anything to come your way? It makes you much stronger.
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Ooooyeah that is one benefit of the last 6 months of hell, all the other problems in life just pale.
I was in court last month dealing with custody issues and was being haranged, pressured and intimidated by a judge and two lawyers.....but i was just siting there thinking " You people think this is pressure after what ive been through for the last 6 months.....this is kids stuff" :)
Re:disappointed by lack of family support sadaboutdad: I know how you feel, my grandparents haven't spoken to me in the past year b/c my dad (their son) left my mom for another woman. I am still trying to build up the nerve to call them and say "wtf!!!" It is like all the pain and hurt I feel has not even registered as a concern with them. I just don't know what to do about them, if you figure it out let me know!!!
Re:disappointed by lack of family support francesca: "you have so much drama in your life...pick what will allow to affect you...seek positive only..life has too many negatives"
Ha, you know I just joke with my friends and say, I dont even have to watch tv! My own life is a soap opera, hahaha. But seriously, I totally agree. My friend says he doesn't know what it is like to let others affect you anymore. I'd love to get to that point eventually!
It's so true about handling pain. IN the last 6 months, I've told off attorneys, fired one, closed on a condo which I picked all alone, moved twice, lived in NY alone, and rearranged my whole value system. I'm back to my basics. I'm a family person again...my aunt became huge in my life and so did a great friend of mine. :)
Sadaboutdad--I'm sure you have heard this before but I guess just having the label of "family" doesn't mean the relationship isn't a work in progress. It hurts so much though. I wish you all the best in reaching out to them!
Re:disappointed by lack of family support francesca: Have you ever had this thought?
The people that you expect to be there for you many times arent' during the rough times. Then, there are people who surprise you, who come into your lives or were virtual strangers yesterday, and they become pivitol to your healing.
Re:disappointed by lack of family support iwontgiveup: how bout this...told a sib was having dark thoughts of killing myself, depressed, calling distress lines, asked to live with her twice not forever but til was better never got a yes...tho i did crash with her for 3 weeks when i was super super f****d up literally imagining gun going off to the temple over and over again and treated her to a celeb restaurant $100 plus dinner as a thnk you....finally told her in words like despair, desperate as before i didnt want to convey the emotion of my depseration so as not to worry her...tried to get her to udnerstand that i shouldnt be alone....so she was like i didnt know (hello what the f*** does i want to die mean?) and said whatever i need, stay with her wahtever...
brought it up one night and said was grateful to know i have options that i can always crash w her if needed..and she said 'well just so u know everyone struggles...ive been trying to keep my place clean' and im like..that is NOT what i need to hear right now....
i know intellectually that if she could feel my pain or be in my head, when it seems like it's 24/7 suicidal thoughts, then she would take care of me as i need to be.
""I would hate to look back and feel disappointed in the family for not being there for me during the biggest crisis of my existence."
But I do. "
yup...ive pretty much realized i cant count on her to help me in a life/death kinda way. and she knows how much i dont have in the country im trying to reestablish myself in. but i dont hold a grudge. its just fact.
anwyays...hmm...a bit darker than the intent of this thread...just wanna say, i hear ya w the sib thing
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