Re:Father's Day - the new reality twobeautifulkids: That's very admirable, Patrick. I am glad you are so close to your kids and so involved in their lives. To my tbx's credit, he has spent more quality time with them since we've been separated. He doesn't have me to give him a break when he spends time with them once a week for a couple hours and every other weekend from Friday night to Sunday morning. The kids are always so happy to see him (he's the fun dad who can drop everything to spend all his time w/ them and doing nothing else), but I want to believe they are happy living with me, too. *SIGH* sorry, didn't mean to turn this into my rant. Guess I'll go post on the vent board instead.
Anyway, I'm so glad you are so close to your kids. I truly admire that. I don't remember your break up story, but I also imagine you are not the one that asked for the divorce. I just say that because your committment level to your kids was probably there with your marriage. I know in my case it was the same for me and the committment level I had/have.
Re:Father's Day - the new reality wpgilbe: 2Bk
Both parents are important to the children. I am not an expert by any means, but the children have so much to learn from a father and a mother, especially at this young age. How old are your kids? I don't think that kids migrate to the "fun" parent or pick favorites. I think that they learn valuable lessons from two parents, IF both parents are committed to them. I am, and it sounds like you and your tbx are as well.
You are correct. I did not want this divorce. It was sprung upon me, and one of the reasons that I was given was that I rely on my family for too much of my entertainment (whatever that means). I refuse to accept any responsibility for being a bad guy just because I want to spend my free time on weekends doing things as a family. My commitment level was high before, but now I have the extra burden of making them feel secure and loved in a less than perfect situation. That is my responsibility as their father, and though I resent being put in this situation by their mother, I intend to rise to the challenege. Now I'm ranting...
Re:Father's Day - the new reality twobeautifulkids: Oh to have a man actually want to spend time with his family. That's foreign to me. It was always a huge issue for me that it was like pulling teeth to get tbx to do something as a family. How can wanting to spend time with your family be used against you, Patrick? I can't imagine how that could make anyone upset? I long for the day to have a man want to go do things as a family. That, along with a few other things I've never had, will be a definite requirement if I am to ever marry someone again.
Re:Father's Day - the new reality wpgilbe: The message was something like "I'm with the children all day, every day. You come home and you want us to all be together and I need a break sometimes." I would travel a bit for work, and to be honest, I would miss my family and feel a bit guilty about not being there on a daily basis. Thus, the importance of being with my family when I was home. I understand her frustration and the need to get away sometimes, but that could have been worked out. It's not like I spend my free time playing golf, in a bar, etc. I was with my family, for goodness sakes.
