Any advise on how this plays out??? schpolo15: Well its been about 1 1/2 months now since we have broken up. This has come from trust issues. I wasent there for her like i should have been. Dont get me wrong, I have been in love with this girl sonce the day i met her. We were dating for about 2 1/2 years. She is well was so in love with me too. I began to get into a rut where i think i got so comfortable with the situation that i began to take her for granted, but i've never cared about anyone like her before so when this happened i found myself knowing i was wrong but still doing the wrong thing. I also know she started to see it too. Obviously with the lieing, but with other things too like my motivation, and my attitude. as time moved on she began to want more of a committment and i still really wasent sure but i figured we would be together so i pushed it aside. Finally she had enough and began to pull away from me, right about the time i got my crap together and tried to pull her to me. So this was in the beginning of may. Basically we still saw eachother every few days, and although i was happy to still see her, i think it was becoming difficult. I had just moved her into a new apartment from her parents house and did three days of work all day to set it up. I hung up everything, put everything together and so on. (i'm not asking for a medal because i know she apprecitted it, it comes into play in a sec) From this point, once she was settled, the time we spent got less and less untill now we dont see one another at all. She had asked me for space at the beginning of this but i couldent because i missed her too much so i kept pushing her to see me. I think this was starting to make the wedge between us bigger. I know she loves me, but our trust is broken. I know trust is a tough thing to fix, if at all. I have set out to improve myself in this now, trying to become a better person, which eventually i hope she will see. The problem is we dont see eachother. So thats the story. Last saturday we saw eachother for the first time in a month. We talked and had a good conversation, catching up on family stuff. I then asked her to lunch, and she responded "I dont think your over this yet" i hope and pray she means she dosent know if i can change my ways in a month. She has never said we will never be together again, and didnt say she wouldent go to lunch either. Other friends came over during the conversation so we changed topics. Its just that on the apartment thing, every morning the alarm clock that rings to wake her up, its mine. All the dvd's and dvd player is mine, all my stuff that i had there during those few weeks is still there, and everything thats hanging or assembled i did. Again i would do it again tommrow, i"m not asking for thanks, i'm just hoping it reminds her of me. So thats it. Does anyone think she will ever trust me again, or try to give me another chance? Is there anything i can do to help her trust me again, even though we dont really see eachother? Can this work? I dont want to loose the love of my life. Thanks for your help ???
Re:Need some advice / Can she trust me again? sourpuss: i think she may mean that you are not over the hope of reconciliation yet.
it sounds to me like she is already gone. in fact, you even say she has told you you will never be together again.
if you want to keep her in your life, you will have to decide if you can be "just friends". if not, you should walk away. sorry.
welcome to ojar, i'm sorry you had to find us under these circumstances.
Re:Need some advice / Can she trust me again? riversandlakes: sourpluss, i think he said, "She has never said we will never be together again, and didnt say she wouldent go to lunch either."
though you are probably reading too much into what she is NOT saying...
if you love her that much, tell her so. show her so. win her back.
didn't you tell her:
i've never cared about anyone like her before
I know she loves me
Re:Need some advice / Can she trust me again? sourpuss: mea culpa, i read too fast. thanks rivers.
then i will revise my advice slightly.
if you want to show her you have changed, then go the "friends" route. if that is the only circumstances she will see you under, then take it. be prepared for disappointment, though.
don't pressure or nag her, just be the person you should have been in ther first place and hopefully she will see it.
Re:Need some advice / Can she trust me again? schpolo15: i want to tell her every day, and show her every day but she did ask me for space. before when i kept pushing her i was thinking about myself, because i missed her and wanted her there. I still miss her and want her there but i'm trying to respect her wishes by giving her the space. do you think thats wrong? i want her to know the effort is there but i'm not sure how to show her. also from where this stands now, a lot of friends have said if she really loves you she will be the one to break to ice again and contact you. but i want her to know i'm trying too?
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