why did i go through with it... laurie007: i wrote yesterday about how i feel as though i have found the man i have been looking for...i will be divorced in december and have totally moved on from my ex. ...but i feel like i found what i have needed all along and wasn't even looking...i have dated before i found this man but never had anythign so just quit and decided to for get about it and when i did everything that is great now is going on. i will be meeting his family for the first time and they know i'm seperated and will be divorced...do they look down on me? i'm scared they will think i'm "tainted" and not want their son with me and get him to lose me. i made a mistake of getting married...i knew i shouldn't and beat myself up every day that i went through with it--it just felt like i had to because of all the people, planning, presents, family, etc. that's done and over with now but i don't want to have to beat myself up over it even more because i don't want to lose this man over my stupid mistake. has anyone ever been in this situation?
Re:why did i go through with it... JimB: If they judge you on the basis of you being divorced, that is their problem, not yours.
That said, if you still feel "tainted" to the degree that you worry about what people think of you, it probably means you're not really finished healing yet. I suggest you hold off on meeting his family if you don't feel ready yet. Plenty of time for that.
Re:why did i go through with it... laurie007: my biggest downfall is i care too much about what other people think...that started in the college days...it's never gone away--started way before i was seperated--actually wasn't the cause for the seperation if you think that. i care too much about other people and don't ever want to hurt feelings, fuss, fight, or not have them like me. i guess that's a trait i have, i don't think that should judge whether or not to cancel my plans-that's just me and my new guy knows that.
Re:why did i go through with it... ambergem: Do you think that you are just finding something to be worried about? If you weren't separated and getting divorced would you find something else to be concerned they might not like?
Re:why did i go through with it... sourpuss: i don't think it's that you care what they think, since you don't really know what they think yet. i think perhaps, deep down, YOU feel a bit tainted and you are projecting that onto them. don't catastrophize.
go meet them and see how they treat you. be your most fabulous self and they will see in you what their son sees in you.
i have been treated to a couple of people who view me as "damaged goods" or someone with "baggage", but frankly, if they judge me without knowing me, i am not interested in their opinions.
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