Re: vendictive ex wife making threats and demands rhondam71: I disagree with aint_mis_bhavin...
In a blended family you should have the same exact set of rules for all children - step, biological, etc. And BOTH parents should be the disciplinarian. This not only shows they have formed a united front when it comes to unacceptable behavior, but it puts some "power" in the hands of a stepparent that they need in order to help gain control of the situation with their step child. Hitting is of course a personal decision.
I personally would be upset if another woman spanked my son. Even if I spank. However, I use "time outs" and our entire family is aware of this and respects our decision and uses this method as well when my son is in their care.
So things can be worked out - I know it is harder when they are older.
It sounds like in this situation that the H and the EXW need to handle their bitterness and fighting. Unfortunately the Mom is using her son as a tool and his father is letting her!
Re: vendictive ex wife making threats and demands sourpuss: dad & step-mom need to present a united front with respect to rules & discipline, but i think dad should be the one dishing out the punishment (NOT corporal, either, it is ineffective).
not for any legal reason, but because it takes away the "you're not my mom" issue.
Re: vendictive ex wife making threats and demands aint_mis_bhavin: It doesnt matter if anyone agrees with me or not..the truth is, a step-parent is NOT ALLOWED to punish a step-child...courts really frown on that.
Re: vendictive ex wife making threats and demands dreamerpoet: Do you have any children yourself amb? Cuz if you did you should understand the need to be united as parents to raise good kids. I am NOT saying that she should go hog wild and beat the living crap out of this kid but there is NOTHING wrong with her being allowed to take away a privilege or put the child in time out. If she is not allowed to what happens when dad has to be away for a trip or is sick or something. That child will know that he/she can do anything she/he wants.
And working in a law firm I have seen the natural children be removed from parent/step parent situation because one child is uncontrollable. think about that.
I really hope I would never marry anyone who wouldn't expect to be an equal with me and my or who wouldn't expect me to be with their children.
This is not a replacement of the absent parent simply the best blending for the new family
Re: vendictive ex wife making threats and demands rhondam71: Melancholy...Well said.
And as far as a stepparent being "allowed" to punish a step child...Of course they are allowed. Punish can mean a time out, loss of priviledges, grounding, etc. As far as corporal punishment - NO parent step or biological is free to hit their child at will in most cases. Suits have brought against biological parents as well. So there should be no reason why a blended family can't be on equal grounds when it comes to the parents having control.
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