Missing my life......................... Blueyes424: What a bad couple of months...........as many of you know in the last 6 weeks, my life has just been a complete mess.
My gradfather died, whom I was very close to, 2 days before my birthday.....then a week and a half later, I found out that my ex had a child with the woman he cheated on me with...when he didn't want our child that I ended up miscarrying in 2003......then he asks me to help him pick out the OW's engagement ring so he can give it to her on what would have been our 6th anniversary....then to top it all off, he had my baby (our dog, Lexie) put to sleep because he didn't want her anymore....or rather the OW didn't want her around the baby anymore.
I am so lost and confused and hurt right now.......I don't miss HIM, but I have to be honest, I miss the life we had.....having my own house, being able to plant flowers, walk around in the nude if I wanna....not that I did that all that often, but ya know! :o
I just wish that my life would start to feel normal again...that I would meet someone to help heal the hurt and pain I feel from being alone......someone that will want me for who I am and what I stand for not what they think that they can turn me into or what I can give them. Will that ever happen for me? Will I ever get the chance to be genuinely happy? Will I ever get the chance to be able to be a mom? I feel like that chance passed me by when I lost Kyleigh.......I know that sounds silly, but I just feel like my life is a big scary mess.
I am afraid that I am destined to spend the rest of my life completely alone, and I don't want that. I want to fall in love with someone that loves me back, and I want to be a mom, and I want to have all the things that you have in a relationship........hugging, kissing, being together, doing things together, being HAPPY and IN LOVE.
Is that really too much to ask???????????????
Re:Missing my life......................... penguin: No sweetie, that is not too much to ask. And you will have all that. Things do get better, and things are begenning to change for you, for the better. Think about it... You are slowly getting over you ex, you have met a great guy and I think things are going to work out there, you have a great group of friends both on Ojar and IRL, you have lots of people to love you, and I'm sure you will be a great mom when the time comes. You are still very young! You have time! Take a deep breath, and live! Don't be burdened by your past. The more you dwell in it, the more miserable you will be. I love you and Mama, Bubba, and I are always here for you!
Re:Missing my life......................... penguinMAMA: Amen!
Re:Missing my life......................... Blueyes424: Penguin~
I knew there was a reason I loved you so much!!!! Even though reading your post put tears in my eyes, I know you are right.
I have met someone GREAT, and I am hoping with all hope that things will go the way that I want them to with him........they seem to be heading in that direction, don't you think???
I am so glad that you, Mama and Bubba are a part of my life now.....honestly, it's hard to imagine what I did before that happened!! I feel like my family has expanded and I am so thankful that you guys are a part of my life.
Re:Missing my life......................... penguin: [size=10"> [glow=purple,2,300"> ((((( HUGGS )))))[/glow"> [/size">
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