Question? How long for no contact? clb: For those of you who iniated seperation/divorce and wanted no contact how long in your mind would "at least for awhile" be? 3m, 6m year?
For those of you who did not want the seperation/divorce how long would you wait for someone to make up their mind or figure out how they feel?
Re:Question? How long for no contact? teacherwriterguy: What is the purpose of the no contact?
Some people go 'no contact' to protect themselves while they heal.
Some people mutually go 'no contact' so that they can cool down as a couple to make more informed decisions.
If it's the first, I'd let your heart be your guide. Give yourself enough time without contact until you feel you can get some of the answers you want from your stbx without derailing your life.
If it's the second, I'd suggest it be shorter rather than longer. Obviously, the other person plays a part in making this decision, but I think it doesn't take THAT long for someone to clear their head a little bit - and the longer you wait, the more both parties get used to being apart.
twg
Re:Question? How long for no contact? fiz: Yuur secound question is one that the answer has eluded me too. How long should you wait hoping the other person will come back to you? How long should you wait in limbo?
Re:Question? How long for no contact? jujubee: i have been wondering that too. i guess i was the one who initiated the separation eventhough i was given an ultimatem i did choose to leave. we decided at first that we would see eachother once a week and i told him my cellphone is always on if he needs to talk. i'm wondering if that's the right thing to do. should we go w/out contact for alittle while? i won't see him this week at all due to work schedules but i'm wondering if to see things clearly we shouldn't see eachother. any advice would be great from those who have been there done that.
Re:Question? How long for no contact? clb: Hi
I guess maybe I should give a little background info.
Husband told me six months ago that he needed a divorce. He loved me, but I was driving him insane and the only way to not go insane was to divorce me. We stayed together till 2months ago while our house was being sold, then sepeated, no contact, his choice. When I asked him what to expect when we seperated and said can we have contact his response was "No, at least not for awhile, it would defeat the purpose" Purpose of what?? I have not figured out. He says he needs the divorce no matter what . He has also said that he needs to get through the divorce in order to maybe work things out down the road. He needs it to put closure to this part of his life.
So here we are over six months since he told me he wanted a divorce and he still has not done anything.
No contact, no divorce ,nothing. I feel as if I am living in limbo. I am trying to give him what he wants/needs in hopes that maybe he will change his mind. I love him and we were together for 12yrs, married almost 9.
Well I guess my question is how long should I wait for him to make a move whether it is to divorce me or to say he wants it to work out.
Or should I wait a period of time and then file papers to put closure on all of this for both of us.
Oh I should add that there was an email, to discuss things but non that were personal, but I did respond and wrote to him that I am not contacting him because this is what he wants and I am keeping my word but that he should know that I am there for him if and when he wants to talk.
Any advice would be helpfull. Thanks ::)
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