Contact with the ex jt5639: Well, the last time I talked to my ex was 6 weeks ago - and it was bad. I was angry, had just found out he already had a new girlfriend - you can probably imagine how great that phone call was.
Anyway, I started no contact and it's been the best thing I could have done. But recently, I've been ready to let go some of the anger, start towards making peace with all of this. My ex had donated an auction item to my non-profit business, and I took the opportunity to thank him and contact him.
I sent an e-mail saying thank you and just that I wanted to touch base - wanted something else "out there" besides that phone call.
He wrote back, and I have so many mixed feelings right now. I'm really sad. He says he's been thinking of me a lot over the last few weeks. He talked about how proud he was of my company's success, and of my work. Said he's been wanting to write to say hi. It's nice to hear these things, but also so hard. Because he has someone else - so I know he doesn't think about me the way I think about him, and doesn't miss me like I miss him. I need to let go of the anger, but when I let it go I remember what a sweet person he is, and just miss him so much.
I had said I wouldn't write again for awhile because I need more time and to continue the distance. He said that the distance was good, but he wanted to check-in once and awhile. This makes me know he still is happy with his choice, and still doesn't want me back. I know these things, but it's hard getting confirmation, you know?
Ultimately, I'm glad I contacted him. We will run into each other socially or professionally - the circles we run in overlap so much - I need to start finding peace somehow. I needed to "let go" of that last phone call. I don't plan on contacting him again for awhile.
Anyway, I just really miss him right now and am sad. I've been getting a lot better at realizing and taking to heart that his actions have nothing to do with me. It's so hard to be reminded of that special connection we had - and to know how he's dealing with things, how he's already with someone else. Thank you for listening. I just wanted to talk about it with people who might understand.
JT
Re:Contact with the ex BabygirlM: youve been doing so great. i cant get past 2 weeks of no contact with my ex....he always ends up contacting me, and im week and answer.
6 weeks is a great accomplishment. i would stick with it if you have been doing well up until this point and now you feel sad again. keep up with it.
i know how hard it is, i feel so alone and knowing my ex has been with another woman stabs me in the heart, but he just keeps coming back. im in a vicious cycle that i would wish on no one.
im sure he loves you in his own special way, but it seems he has moved on. dont get sucked back in.
Re:Contact with the ex hudson: Hey jt, I feel for you, really. You'll get that peace you're looking for. It'll come, it's just going to take time.
It's good to find outlets for the anger and I know exactly what you mean by not being able to be let it go on account of how sweet and nice the ex is. I struggled with my anger and it was hard to direct it and manage it, but eventually it worked it's way out. My ex is sweet and nice too, but I had/have to accept that she chose to divorce me. It's all about gaining acceptance throughout the course of the whole process. It's hard.
Just don't rush yourself through the process of healing and don't expect too much of yourself. It's a long road with ups and downs. And now, the end of the road is one day closer. ;)
take care.
Re:Contact with the ex lydia67: [color=Green"> [/color">
My heart aches for you. I know what you are going through. I am in a similar situation and it hurts...hurts really bad. Love hurts and that is all there is to it.
