Need guys opinion - sorry so long Pumpkin: Well, I started going to this new church about 3-4 weeks ago. It is a big group of singles my age. Anyway, I met this guy who I have had a few conversations with and am interested in getting to know better. He has text messaged me twice, in both cases I called him back. He acts interested in me some of the time, but other times I start to wonder. I am attractive, smart, and friendly. He has mentioned that I have beautiful hair, that I am beautiful, and also mentioned doing something outside of chuch to see the non-church guy (his words).
Anyway, other times he acts like he is just wanting to be friends or something, he hasn't officially asked me out. I have tried to hint to him that I am interested as well, but he still has not called (except to call me right back when he sending an e-mail when I had called him to respond to his text message). One time he even text messaged me an hour after I left the church event (a lake party) to say he had a great time with me on the jet ski. When I had called him back, I left a message and he called right back saying he was sending an e-mail, so that's why his phone didn't ring. I heard other people in the background and asked him if he was still there. He said he was and was waiting until everone left to help clean up. We talked for about 20 min. This was Sat. night.
Sun night was strange b/c he didn't act interested in talking to me at all, even like he was rushing to make it to the restaurant after church where everyone goes afterward, and didn't wait inside or anything even though he knew I was leaving the church at the same time. We sat in diff. parts of the restaurant and when I left I went to his table and said to everyone there, "sorry I didnt' have a chance to talk to you guys". He said, "yea, sorry I didn't have a chance to talk to you, either" and I said, "just call me" and he said, "I will call you". No call, but figured I may see him Mon. night, so I didn't worry so much then.
Last night (Mon. night) seemed to go fine, we talked some and he had sat next to me. Afterwards, I called him b/c he had left the church event kind of abruptly and I just wanted to ask him if he was okay b/c it was kind of strange of him to leave like that (we were having a great conversation). He said that there were alot of other people there and there was a movie playing . (Even though other people were making small talk during that time, too). We talked mainly about our families for about 45 min, when he said he would maybe talk to me in the next few days, that he had a headache.
I am just wondering what is going on b/c I am newly single and remember things being much different in the past, where if a guy hinted his interest in me, and especially if I hinted my interest back, they would ask me out, call me, etc. When I talked to him Sat. night, I told him that he could call me instead of text me (since my stbx pays the cell phone bill and his number will show if it's a text and not if it's a call), he said,"well, I just didn't want to bother you, it's less intrusive". I told him it would not bother me at all, that part of the reason I started going to the church is to meet new people and be social.
Is he playing a game? Is he interested in me? Perhaps he is interested in other girls in the church, too? It was suggested to me by a guy friend of mine that guys are oftentimes intimidated by me b/c of my looks, could it be this? I am not used to this kind of behavior...wish things would be more simple.
-Pumpkin
Re:Need guys opinion - sorry so long jimloveless: hrm...
i really don't like the way this guy is behaving. but it's impossible to say WHY he's acting this way. when a girl intimidates me, i stammer. i usually say something really stupid and embarrass myself.
if he seems super calm around you, the intimidation thing is out.
it's possible he's just normally erratic/crazy.
it's possible there is another girl on his mind, i suppose.
it's possible that he's just horribly uncomfortable with pre-dating.
it's possible he's got schitzophrenia.
it's possible he is just really worried about what other people of the church think of him.
it's possible that he's imagining mixed signals from you, too, and it's really affecting his behavoir. i've done this myself...
there are so many possibilities i couldn't begin to write them all out. it all originates around the theory that all men are idiots.
I'd say if you really like him, call him and invite him out to a cup of coffee away from church. talk to him about what you're feeling. tell him your interested but you're sensing some mixed signals.
church guys like me appreciate honesty. if i was screwing something up with a gorgeous newly single girl, i'd definately want to know about it.
it's impossible to tell you for sure what's happening there. you're interested though. don't be afraid to take a chance and persue something a little. you have nothing to lose, girl. :)
Re:Need guys opinion - sorry so long mophead123: Hmmm...this one is kind of tricky I think as well. I agree, there is nothing wrong with asking him to coffee. He can definitely sense your interest in him from what you said anyway. I believe any normal guy would so it is a bit odd. Maybe he is playing a game and is trying to make you sweat. But I believe especially if you are meeting this guy at church and he seems like an honest guy, give it a go...send him a text or call and invite him fro something casual. See how you guys do 1 on 1 and away from church. That could be an issue for him as well. Maybe he too is scared and just getting out of something. Anyway, I think an invitation is worth a shot.
Re:Need guys opinion - sorry so long jillieb44: Pull back. You're too available. Don't call or e-mail or go find him after church. He knows you're interested. Now the ball is in his court.
It's hard I know. I'm currently playing the waiting game myself. It's soooooo hard.
Jillie
Re:Need guys opinion - sorry so long JimB: It's one thing to be interested, but is that enough? I mean, he needs to be interested enough to overcome all the lame excuses he's giving you and ask you out, right?
In my experience, anyone who really wants something will find a way to ask for it. Until that point, it's safe to assume they don't want it very badly.
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