so confused EssieDotCom: My husband just returned home from his trip to Maine. His grandfather passed away and he had to go to the funeral. Well he gets home late yesterday evening, and it's back to the acting like nothing is wrong between us. He wants to be loving and caring, and hasn't gotten on his ever so addicted PC game yet. I love this man, but I'm not sure how long this will last and I don't want this since of false hope. If he wants to seperate then why he is acting this way? Has he changed his mind, or is he once again playing everything off for the sake of our family? This is so confusing! I don't want to come and ask him what's up, because the last time he did this to me he said "I havent' changed my mind about where we stand". To which i asked him not to act like nothing was wrong again and treat me like he loves me so much if all he wanted to do was be seperated and not have anything to do with me anymore. Yesterday I did something really hard, I went to legal, and i talked about seperation. I even got the Seperation papers that we need to fill out. That was really hard for me, because I don't really want this. On one hand, I love him very much, but i'm so frustrated with the way he does things, and I've been fighting us working things out for so long now, and on the other i just want to give up and give in to the things he's said to me. All the mean and un-feeling things he's said to me that just make me want to scream and cry. So what would you all do? would you come out and ask him yet again, what's going on here, what do you want? Or should i fear being hurt, keep on living a lie (if that is what it is for him)... what do i do?
Re:so confused sourpuss: unless he has said that he has changed his mind, i would assume he hasn't. he is biding his time.
sit him down with those papers & get going on the separation. work on a timeline to do things (someone's gotta move out...), and then do them.
as hard as it is for you (i am in the same boat, HE wants the divorce but refuses to do anything to bring it about), you will feel better if you take some control of the situation.
ok, maybe not better, but i find the limbo is much worse than the moving towards something.
light a fire under him, do not let him control this situation. i know you want him to change his mind, jsut as much as i want mine to, but if he wanted to work things out, he would be trying to work things out.
