He needs time to sort out his life...confused - HELP! lydia67: [color=Green"> [/color">
This is such a long story and I fear if I don't tell it all it may be misunderstood. Bear with me folks as I try to keep it short and simple without missing any key points. I need some advice...particularily from men! Here it goes. I am recently seperated from my husband...BUT in my mind and in my heart we have been seperated for the past 1.5 years! I am not sad over this breakup nor was I ever looking to meet someone so soon - it just happened totally by accident! I met a wonderful, warm, caring, tender, passionate, funny man who I am (for once) completely comfortable with. Things were going great for about 3 weeks until one day when he told me his ex wanted to work things out. It was sad day for me but I let it go. A week later he wants to see me again as he said he just was not happy with her and did not want to be with her. I agreed and we were back on again. Lo and behold...it happened again. This time I was so hurt. I did not contact him at all but I thought about him every day. Another week passes and he is coming around again. We get together and talk and "whatnot" ;). I was uneasy about everything but something happened that night that has left me wondering and confused. He said and did things that he never said or did before. The passion was unbelievable - I could feel how he cares about me. He told me I was an amazing woman and that things will get better. A few days later I tried to contact him to no avail. I got angry and told him I liked him a lot and wanted to be with him but that I could not play a game like this. I told him I would wait for him to sort out his life (he told me before he was mixed up and needed to sort his life out). He went away to work and I waited - not so patiently though. I thought about him everyday and longed to hear his voice. I was convinced he would tell me if he did not think he would ever want to see me again - since he did not do that I assumed there was a chance. I love this man. I fell in love and as good as it feels is as scary as it feels. He came back and finally told me that he is not happy with his life. He does not know why he is not happy because he appears to have everything but that he really is not happy and until he can figure it out, he can not commit to anyone because he says it would not be fair to me until he is ready to give himself completely to me. He said he can't be happy with someone else until he is happy with himself. I am confused because he is a wonderul, honest, beautiful, smart and decent man with alot of integrity. He is in his early 40's and is very successful...never married and no kids. He says he wants to see me...to spend the night with me but that he can't do it because it would not be fair to either of us and it is not the way it should be. He told me he has no regrets. He told me he is afraid of my feelings - that he feels it happened so fast. It did - that is true. I have no regrets either but I do love him and I do miss him and I do want to be with him. He is worried about my recent seperation too...that he may get hurt. I have assured him that my ex and I are through. My ex and I are still friends...we are not fighting and we don't dislike each other...we just don't love each other any more in the way that we would need to in order to stay married! I am so confused. I am going to wait for him because I totally believe he is worth it...I have never met a man like him before. What do you think? Is he scared, mid life crisis, what?
Re:He needs time to sort out his life...confused - HELP! flgal: :'( RUN AWAY REAL FAST AND DON'T LOOK BACK. he is playing with you and it is time to wake up. I am 38 and have been there. It hurts and takes time to heal. I was with a man like that for over 5 years, I kept thinking one day he will cut the ties with his ex and then he will be all mine, in the long run he left his ex and me broken and hurt and found another to use to his advantage.
Re:He needs time to sort out his life...confused - HELP! malko: what you wrote sounds really scary-emotional torture...and he doesn't sound like he has any integrity!! Please don't fall for him blindly...it is infatuation that you are experiencing now and you can stop it before you get in too deep and really suffer. Read "Men whod can't love" and stay away. i was with someone like that for a few months-it was a headfu*k. I still see him through work and can't believe i was eve attracted to him...but i was and it was this kind of behaviour tht kept me getting more hooked and trying to figure out how to "help him".
