Where is the nearest ditch.... kchopper5: Well I went to my 4th mediation session yesterday and got anally raped by the stbxw and the mediator. I'm staring at $230/wk in child support and there is absolutely nothing I can do about it. I nearly cried in the session and then I had to listen to this mediator tell me not to worry about how the money is going to be spent and that in 5 years things will be so much better. It seems that that is what the typical father gets no matter how good he is to the children or how the relationship ended. What a damn crock.
Now before we even went into this session she gave me a note to read. I had told her that I had met a few women and that one has really captured my attention. Jodie is potential girlfriend material but it is gonna be a slow process, regardless this note says that she hopes I am well, and that she is jealous of the fact that I may have a g/f, and that she was hoping that we could be separated for a year or so and then we would get back together (she can go to hell falling in the deepest ditch possible on that comment). Anyway that isnt even the worst part of this note that she gave me. On March 19th she came home from her little "trip" and told me that she was in love with Frank. Well in this note she tells me that it will be a long time before she will ever be able to say "I Love You" to anyone seeing as I was her first true love.
Anyway I am in a dilemma. I really want to write her a reply note telling her that on March 19th I was no longer alive to her. On that day I died in a fiery crash and she was left to pick up the pieces of the carnage left behind. I will always be there for my daughters but I absolutely despise the thought of even talking to her in any way, shape or form.
Sorry about the length of my rant but it has been 4 months and I just want my life to move on without any contact with her, besides stuff regarding my children. God I think I am trapped in a personal hell because I am fully aware that when I find true happiness she will not be able to handle it and that is when she will definetly not let me live.
Re:Where is the nearest ditch.... lookin4alite: Chopper,
I had a whole response for ya but in my bitter moment I somehow deleted it. Just focus on your kids, and no contact. I am not sure how a cheat has gotten your kids, the money and all but its wrong and she deserves nothing more from your. PM me if you need to vent or rant. I am willing to help when possible.
Take Care,
lite
Re:Where is the nearest ditch.... ajw: Well i think you letting her know you never what to date her again is ok....just dont do it in a hurtfull way.
You can let her know that you are only interested in being a parent with her and that she has no right to dictate whether you have a girlfiend or not.Just tell her if it makes the situation easier you wont talk about this new girl in front of her,but other than that she can keep her big nose out.
And if the mediation sessions get real boring just take a book to read or play games on your mobile...thats what i did,drove her crazy....lol
good luck
Andy
Re:Where is the nearest ditch.... kchopper5: Well I wrote the note. I couldn't resist and I basically told her that I was dead to her and that I hope her relationship with the OM works well and that it must be fun to have to look over youre shoulder to see if he is cheating on you with someone. I also told her that if she wants some of my time she will have to get to know me all over again on the phone like my other friends do. I was basically telling her to get in line and if I want to chat with her I will. I mentioned that there will be no reconciliation and that I dont care because she has to get up every morning and look at herself in the mirror. Then I suggested to her to ask around and find out what real bad relationships are like and then compare it to the comfortable middle class lifestyle that she was enjoying. I don't know nor do I care about the tone of the letter I just had to make sure that she knew that I was not there for her anymore in anyway, shape, or form.
Hey if anybody could tell me if I was a little harsh I would appreciate it.
Re:Where is the nearest ditch.... jillieb44: Chopper, you must remember that the money is going to your CHILDREN, not your wife. Think of that.
My stbx doesnt' want to pay child support either, cuz he blames me for everything, and he's always hidden *his* money from me (I was a SAHM and worked part time therefore it was HIS money cuz HE earned it) and now he's pissed he'll have to give some to me. But I'm the custodial parent. And so far I've had to foot 100% of the grocery bills (haven't seen a dime in over two months) and 100% of their clothes (growing, change of season), and basic kid necessities, birthday party gifts, school stuff, etc. Child support is more than just the mortgage. And he currently makes 5x what I make (though I start a new job next month).
I know your relationship was different and maybe your ex deserves to rot in he**, but support is calculated based on some formula % of income, not who's at fault, so if the kids are in her custody primarily, you need to support them. If you want to be primary custodial parent then file for it. Maybe your wife would relinquish them? My ex gave them to me gladly and counts the hours when it's *his turn* until he can return them.
Think of your kids, and it will feel better.
Jillie
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