Re:How do you get them off their pedastal hudson: absolutely you deserve one. I always tell my friends that the next girl I have a relationship with is going to have to worship the ground I walk on, period. I say it a little in jest, but there's definitely some truth to it.
I have discovered through all of this, that a, if not the major problem in my marriage was the drastic imbalance of love that was given. I gave immensely, she gave so little it's not funny. Although I hold her family responsible for much of that as they never taught her how to love, only how to be "successful".
So, I will never again settle for a woman who doesn't love me with as much or more passion as I love her.
Re:How do you get them off their pedastal wowee: [quote author=blazin'heart link=board=1;threadid=14061;start=0#msg117531 date=1120109374">
I will never again settle for a woman who doesn't love me with as much or more passion as I love her.
[/quote">
Ditto for me ( only can I have a man instead of a woman?)
Mophead & Blazin - you BOTH deserve your own pedastals. And by the posts I have seen of yours, you guys will find the right person because you guys both know the importance of "giving" to a relationship - and not just taking. We all just need to find someone else who has that skill as well & we will be happy again...
Re:How do you get them off their pedastal mophead123: The clear answer to this question is to remember the bad stuff. But sometimes when you are lonely or hurting or in pain, at least I sometime say the bad stuff asn't so bad (even though it was) and make excuses for her and in turn blame myself thereby bringing myself that much further down. The other method is anger and hatred. These too are short lived I feel.
Any ideas out there?
Re:How do you get them off their pedastal myowncanoe: IMHO, remembering the bad stuff is not the key - we are all human and if one has an ounce of compassion then that ounce will be applied to those we love and thus we find ourselves understanding their behaviour (and even excusing it).
I think the key is to remember that no one belongs on pedestals and that when you put someone on one the only way for them to move is down. We are all human, we all make mistakes and we all do regrettable and hurtful things to each other sometimes. That does not make a person evil or all bad necessarily (though I am sure there are exceptions). Pedestals are for statues, Pygmalion, not for women or men.
You still love her, this is good IMO. It shows that you love deeply and truly and that you continue to love despite hurt. These are wonderful qualities and will aid you in your life. You are still able to appreciate her good qualities and the gifts that your relationship brought to your life. Personally, I think that's healthy and will help you heal from this relationship's hurts and be ready and able to have a different sort of relationship next time.
hugs
Re:How do you get them off their pedastal tyrogers: [quote"> How do you all take your ex's off the pedastal and keep them down? [/quote">
Pick up a 2x4 or a Louisville Slugger and knock them off of it.
BBH
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