Re: Is he insane? dgiirl: I hate him! I hate him! I hate him! I hate him! I hate him! I hate him! I hate him! I hate him! I hate him! I hate him! I hate him! I hate him! I hate him! I hate him! I hate him! I hate him! I hate him! I hate him! I hate him! I hate him!
I hate him!
Re: Is he insane? dgiirl: He has mail. I called him up to tell him to come pick it up. He wants to come over and pick up his crap too. I asked him if he went to see his lawyer and he starts again with his lawyer is almost finished with a draft and it should be any day now. I told him "Listen, you've been saying that for the last 3 months, what the hell is going on". Then he starts saying how its' not his fault, it's his lawyer, she keeps telling him this and he doesnt know if she's lying or not but it really should be any day now. I told him from my side it looks like you've done nothing towards this divorce, i even had to file for a divorce. He says "yeah its' unfortunate that it had to work out like that. He's as frustrated as much as I am, well maybe not as much, but pretty much". Then he makes a snide remark about how I sued him! I didnt sue him. I filed for a divorce and you have to respond by a certain date.
I told him to go find a new lawyer. It took my lawyer 1 week to draw up the divorce papers and 3 months of his not doing a damn thing.
I'm so pissed off right now. I'm really trying to be understanding and civil about everything, and talking with other people, I've been really really REALLY good about everything. But sheesh, dont make me solve your problems too! 3 months and you still havent figured out how to solve your problems???
*sigh*
Re: Is he insane? jillieb44: He needs a new lawyer. Either he's lying or his attorney is stalling and/or padding the bill.
Jillie
Re: Is he insane? dgiirl: I actually called him out on the lying thing. I told him my lawyer thinks he's lying. He just said he's doing everything he can, and he's not sure if his lawyer is lying or not but it's starting to make him upset. 3 months later and it's starting ot make him upset?
I dont know how the lawyer could be padding the bill. She hasnt done a damn thing yet. Yet I dont think the stbxh is lying. He's just really really passive and avoids conflict at ALL cost.
But I did tell him to get a new lawyer. It's so sad. He asked for the divorce and I'm the one telling him to 1) Get a lawyer, 2) Get a NEW lawyer.
Re: Is he insane? dgiirl: How do I deal with a "Saint"?
My stbxh is extremely passive. He avoids conflict at all costs, and then when I get angry I'm the b*tch. His lawyer's been messing around for 3 months. My stbxh comes over to pick up his mail, and I'm extremely civil to him. I've been extremely civil this whole process and it goes completely unnoticed to him. No matter what I do, he will always see me as a b*tch. I complained about the lawyer and his response is "There's nothing I can do". I told him "You are extremely patient. I would have fired her by now" and his response is "Trust me, I know" with a disgusting smirk look on his face. I know I set myself up for that one. I was trying to be nice to him and he just subtle insults me. For some reason I'm suppose to be understanding and patient because he cant talk to his lawyer. He also makes a snide remark of "This isnt the only stress in my life". He always has stress in his life. I'm always the one who has to be patient, and yet he doesnt realize that I am being patient. All he sees is I'm a b*tch. Yet when I talk to my friends, they are telling me I'm handling the situation very well. They dont see me as a b*tch. They're actually surprised at how passive HE is. Of course, they might be biased, but I keep trying to look at our conversations from a third person, and what I would say if this happened to my friend.
He also went off that I sued him. I didnt sue him, I filed for a divorce. I called my lawyer and asked him and he said that was a funny way of putting it. Technically, yes I sued him. But I sued him for my money. He said he wouldnt call it sueing, he'd call it filing for a divorce. I explained this when my stbxh came over, and he goes "It's good. I'm happy about it because it put the fire under my lawyer". WTF?! Then he goes how cool it was when the bailiff came over at his work. This huge guy asks for my husband and points to sign for the papers. Yes, I did get enjoyment from hearing about the story. My stbxh and I have the same type of humor.
I'm just really frustrated. He has always seen me as this horrible person and I ended up getting into depression and anxiety because of it. Now that he left, I realized what was going on. I really dont know how to communicate with him. And it's only around him that I feel like a horrible person. There's absolutely no way to save this relationship. I've given him everything. I've never denied him anything and somehow I'm the one who takes and takes from him. He avoids conflict, he cant stand up for himself and I'm suppose to read his mind. He's a martyr. There's just no way I can win with him.
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