How do you not get sucked in? Suddenly Single: When the ex is using kids to get back at you and is all sorts of crazy and irrational - how do you not get sucked into the craziness and be crazy yourself or inadvertently start doing the same s**t they are because they are so dang manipulative and well...crazy?
How do you when you know the kids are hurting and being put in the middle and told things they shouldn't??
??? ??? ???
Re:How do you not get sucked in? amola: isn't it fun? lol
you have to try not to react.....don't let the ex get the best of you.....
come here and post and kick and scream and vent about the craziness......we'll give you some ideas of calm reactions.......
and just talk to the kids......they aren't going to understand everything that's going on, but just let them know that you love them.....reassure them......and don't badmouth the ex, as tempting as it might be!!
hang in there! {{{HUGS}}}
:)
amola
Re:How do you not get sucked in? tyrogers: I just keep my calm and do not allow myself to get sucked into it. Trust me, it is hard....but I just go with the flow. Then, after it is all said and done, if I want to scream or beat the shi! out of something, I do it outside away from the kids. ;D
It's hard. Trust me. My ex drives me INSANE! However, I have found that when I do not react to his BS, it irritates him more. So, that is what I do. Just keep your cool. Keep your calm. BITE YOUR TONGUE when you want to explode! It's hard but YOU CAN DO IT!!!! I have faith in ya! :-*
Ty
Re:How do you not get sucked in? Smiley17: I totally agree with Amola here. Don't give into the temptaion of bad mouthing him too. It'll get you nowhere.
Remember - if you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all. ;)
I have to tell myself that every other week!
-KB
Re:How do you not get sucked in? Suddenly Single: Hey Amola!
I know I know!! I guess we have been just so upset lately and overwhelmed by many things that we started getting sucked in. The other night I just felt even though we didn't "say" anything - the kids knew we were raving pissed at her - you know actions speak louder than words. We let her get the best of us - she is good - she knows to use the kids to ruffle our feathers. I hate that she does that but we probably should just lie low and be quiet and focus on us and the kids huh??
Thanks - I know you understand and your comments mean a lot to me!
Ty - you are right too - I guess there is nothing to do but bite the toung and just roll with hit. That will drive them battier but that is their problem not ours.
It is just that my bf (their dad) is just SOOOO stressed right now with work and wanting to save them and make it so that they don't have to hear and see these things but unfortunately this is what their life is and if he stayed with her she would have continued cheating and not being a good role model anyway - the difference I think what is so hard for him is that he sees now how much he was covering up her behavior - how much he did. Friends and family have made comments that she has never really "mothered" the kids. But trying to save them from his behavior is not his job - he is only responsible for his time and actions with them. ok we just have to keep saying this over and over and over.
Does it get easier to bite the toung? Please tell me it does!
You guys are so awesome. Thank you. Thank you. I'm just struggling here because I'm just the girlfriend yet I feel so much for all of them I feel I need to protect and save them too!
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