Re:How do you not get sucked in? Suddenly Single: Smiley - I would never want to bad mouth her to the kidss (my bf's exwife) (I'm the girlfriend)
My dad did that to me with my mother and I HATED it. I'm just worried that my facial expressions or when he and I are talking will show through to them.
Thanks, SS
I know you are right...it is just soooooooooooo hard.
Re:How do you not get sucked in? tyrogers: Yes it does get easier to bite your tongue. Let me tell you girl, this southern mouth would get going on my ex! A sailor had NOTHING on me!!! LOL Since Bubs has come along (and been the one there to b!tch and gripe at instead of the ex) and taught me to bite my tongue, it has gotten so much easier. It is like a game now. When my ex loses it and tries to pick a fight..........I actually let out a little 'giggle' and I say something like "okay. whatever works for you." or something like that. It absolutely KILLS him! ROFLMAO!!! I can just see his fat face turning red whenever I do it. ;D Ahhh....the joy we get from evil things....
It does get easier. I promise. Just as the whole divorce situation does. It just takes a bit of time, and because we are women and we think we do not have time to waste, we want it to go away as soon as it starts. We realize it will not. So we have to do what we can do to make it better. Bite the tongue girl! If ya need me, ya know how to get me!!! :-* :-*
BBHF - Ty
Re:How do you not get sucked in? amola: ss....
yeah, they'll be able to read your body language, and they're going to know that you're mad at her. but they'll see that you're not "doing" anything about it--like badmouthing her or yelling at her or something like that. they'll understand the control that you have over your emotions and that will mean alot to them in the future.
biting your tongue does get easier......you just gotta remember not to bite too hard, or it starts to bleed! lol
you're right....focus on the kids.......they're the most important ones!!
:)
amola
Re:How do you not get sucked in? Suddenly Single: Ty - Thank You. Wow - your statement saying "because we are woman and feel like we dont' have time to waste" just really hits it on the nose for me. That is really how I do feel. ummmm....interesting. Thank You!
Amola - Thanks for the encouragement - I hope that I can be as strong as you two are. Thank You!
You guys are awesome and I cannot tell you how much better your replies have made me feel. I've really calmed down and have more of a sense of clarity on what has been going on, what she has been doing and why and what we need to do. just a litte more - not a lot.........it'll take more time!
Thanks again!
Re:How do you not get sucked in? ColoHill: SS-
Check with your local community center or Child Advocacy center. I am lucky. Here, I have a class geared twords parenting through divorce. There is a coordinating class I can put my kids into that doens't deal with the issue of divorce but with their feelings. Even my little one (3 years old) can go. I think the age group on that one here is 2+. They talk about body language and appropriate ways of expression. They show kids how to "let off steam" in creative ways. It is a safe enviroment for them to learn and it really helps them cope. The adults class is a safe and non-threatening place to vent and talk about ideas and concerns. I don't know what is offered there but I would start calling around.
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