Re:Do you want Children ? Ilosther: Age shouldn't be an issue, please! I have friends having kids into their mid 40's. Just had their last one, 3 total, at the age of 44. Let's face it, we're living longer, working longer into our lives, there's plenty of time.
Of course easier for me to say since I do have a kid, and am heading to a possible divorce. Making it even harder to separate with the kid.
I keep saying, since I am so cynical nowadays about marriage and everyone getting divorced. Why get married anymore when you're just going to get divorced (60% of the time)? If you want to have kids, might as well do it out of wed-lock so the kids wont get hurt by a divorce and you avoid all the complicated custody and crap.
Sorry, I know this doesn't help, but I'm cynical now.
In terms of miscarriages, my sister had a miscarriage for her first child, struggled to conceive again, now has a gigantic 2 year old and another on the way. There is hope.
Re:Do you want Children ? vonmon69: Okay, so I do have one child - an 8-month-old son with my STBXH, but I'm fretting over the fact that I may not be able to have another. It seriously tears me apart just thinking about it . . .
Re:Do you want Children ? jillieb44: I think my wanting children and the ex being on the fence was one of the reasons he started distancing himself from me in our marriage. That and the added responsibility, never mind what I had to give up to stay home with our daughter. Yet it was he who chose to have the second child and even plotted to get me pregnant without telling me (I had already said I'd be okay with having a second).
They're the best thing to have come out of my marriage and I wouldn't change it for the world. And yes, I'm an older mother (had mine at 33 & 37).
If I were to be in another committed relationship I do NOT think I'd want to have another child (mine are finally at the ages where there fun, interesting people and way past the constant supervision/diaper stage). But I'd consider it with the right person...
Jillie
Re:Do you want Children ? justmenow: Well, I have two teenagers, so can I still answer this post?
YES, YES, YES!! I definitely want to have more children (maybe two?). I would LOVE to start another family even though I am well past the "diaper years". Although I'm considered "elderly" here on OJAR (36 y/o), I think there's still time...tick tock. I am hopeful and faithful that if it is meant to be, then it will be. :)
Re:Do you want Children ? dgiirl: Yes, this is one of my biggest fears when the dbomb dropped. I'm about to turn 31, and we were planning on starting a family. He decided to leave. For the last 8 years, he kept telling me I wasnt ready for the responsiblity for kids and that he wasnt sure if he wanted them. I never realized how much those comments had an affect on my well being. Before I met him, I knew I wanted to have kids. But during our marriage, I had anxiety and I started to believe I wouldnt be a good mom. I think I sensed that was my stbxh's feelings. When he dropped the bomb, he told me he's leaving now because we're both young enough to start again to have a family. I asked him I thought you didnt want to have kids? And he replies Of course I want to have kids. I dont want to have kids with YOU. That was extremely cruel and pretty much destroyed my self-esteem for a few months.
Now I have the urge to have a family, but more importantly, I know I'll be a good mom. I have these feelings resurfacing in me that knows I can do it and be loving and caring to a child.
I hate my stbxh for wasting my time. I pray that God will grant me the dream that I wanted but I realize that he might have a different plan for me. I just pray for strength to get through this.
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