Suggestions Pope: My wife came to me a month ago and told me she no longer believed in God and thought I would be better off with someone else. I wasn't shocked by the lack of belief, but the divorce part has taken me back. She agreed to go to counseling but she said in the 4th session (yesterday) that she wasn't willing to go forward and wanted out. We are not fighting, but we have lost a connection. She says she has learned she needs someone to make her laugh, share a belief system and compliment her personality. I am struggling to save a marriage that is slipping through my fingers. I love my family very much.
She wants to discuss separating and divorce. However, I told her I wasn't willing to entertain the topic until we tried something to save our marriage first. She doesn't believe she can open her mind to the thought that a possibility exists in saving it. Any suggestions? ??? :'(
Re: Suggestions Blueyes424: Pope~
First let me say Welcome to OJar.
Second, I am so sorry that you are going through this. I don't know what else to say, but I am sorry.
If she is convinced herself that she wants out, and that the connection has been lost and all, I don't know what you can really do to change her mind. It is very difficult, and I feel your pain, and I know what it's like to want to salvage your marriage, but both parties have to be willing to try and save it, and if you are going at it alone, I hate to say it, but it won't work.
I tried for well over a year to save my marriage alone, and it wasn't until after I was gone that my ex realized that he should have had a more active roll in trying to salvage things. Like my mom always says, hindsight is 20/20, but if she isn't willing, it may prove to be a futile effort.
I will pray for you and your family during this difficult time!
Big Hugs,
~Blue
Re: Suggestions Samarra: Hi Pope,
So sorry you have to fight this alone. You seem to be the only one left in this relationship while emotionally she has already said good-bye.
Someones physical presence alone is not enough to save a marriage.
Why not try a seperation...save Divorce Talk for later....meanwhile, through the time apart...seek counseling for you.
Who knows what may happen in the interim?
She may decide to come back....if she still wants out...let her go. This can't be satisfying for you not having your needs met. Remember....she's the one you're saying good-bye to...not your family.
Re: Suggestions acidflask: I don't know if this would be a good idea or not:
Maybe you could try to separate for a while.
I wanted out of my situation too, but I know that if I could have gone back, I would have. Give her the chance to leave and if it is hard on her, she'll come back. Maybe then she will be willing to try to save things.
What she is doing seems very selfish, but I'm sure that, at this moment, she thinks it is absolutely necessary. I hope for your sake she is wrong. I hope you guys can work this out.
Wishing you all the luck in the world, and just remember, we are here for you if you need us.
Re: Suggestions AfterMath: We're all here for you Pope.
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