Too soon? I need advice! Emo: Yikes.... so I met this guy online who goes to my school, takes the same classes, likes the same books, movies, music, activities etc... so we decided to meet and hit it off immediately on both a physical and intellectual level... we hung out for 3 days straight starting on the day we met and talked a lot and found that we have lots to talk about and things got kind of steamy as well because we have some sort of instant sexual compatability. I even met his parents and stayed over at his house one night. (He lives at home b/c he is in college and his house is 2 blocks from school)... so yeah, had a really intense 3 days, and we both are kind of falling for eachother in that geez, this is great, I want to see if there is more...sort of way. Only problem is I am only 5 weeks into the breakup of a very serious 3 year relationship and I am so afraid of hurting this guy by having issues with my breakup or hurting myself by avoiding my issues by only thinking of this exciting new thing and not mourning the old relationship. On the other hand, I was the one who was dumped and it has been over a month.... before I met the new guy I was in the precarious beggining of the moving on with my life and accepting that it is over phase. This has deffinitely speeded that phase along, but I don't know if that is healthy... on the one hand, it is a nice distraction, and distraction makes me feel kind of wary... on the other hand it has been a great reminder that my ex is by far not the only person who can give me affection and admiration... which it felt like because I have never been in a serious relationship with anyone else so I really needed that reminder... so on that count it is a very positive kind of distraction... I don't know if this new thing will actually work out, but I really like this guy and I want to put effort into finding out if it can.... I just am afraid that I am tricking myself into doing something too soon after my breakup and I am wondering if I really am moving on, it feels like moving on, but I know it is more complicated then that.... has anyone else been in this situation... met a person too great to let them just slip away but maybe you met them too soon?
Re: Too soon? I need advice! AmyMarie1972: Hi,
If I were you I would sit down and explain everything that you are thinking and feeling with the new guy. Only you know whether it is too soon for you to start a new relationship. If you think that the feelings that you have from the old relationship could interfere with the new one then you should tell the new guy.
Yes it is a great distraction but you need to make sure that you are not getting into this relationship just as a distraction from the pain that has been caused by the loss of your last relationship.
You need to go into a new relationship for all the right reasons. If that is what you are doing then continue, but first talking with the guy that you are seeing so that he is fully aware of the situation.
If you really are not sure then take a step back, while you work out where you are.
People get over the break up of their relationships at different speeds, some quicker than others but at the end of the day only you will know if you are ready to move on.
Take care and good luck
Amy
Re: Too soon? I need advice! little_sparrow: Emo
Nope it isn't too soon. Just take your time. Make sure you have a balance and are doing other things for yourself too. Still go out with friends and do the other things that made you feel better durring those five weeks. Add him to your life, don't allow him to become your life.
Good Luck!
Re: Too soon? I need advice! oldbilly: Hi I have a great too soon store...... I left my husband of 9 years in March 2004. My best friend that was there for me through the whole divorce and before the divorce was there for me... (two of my three best friends are guys) My family turned there back on me and I had no one... So I had to rely on my friends even more. My one friend had me over for dinner a lot and we spent a lot of time together. Before I knew it, our friendship love blossomed into a great!!!! boyfriend/girlfriend relationship..... He is everything that I have ever wanted and needed.... He treats me like a queen.. And since he was there during the divorce he knows all the reasons why I was not happy!!!! It has been so great!!! He proposed to me on Feb. 14th in the most romantic way I can not believe my life has turned out this way! I was on anti-dipressents before the divorce, I am now on none..... I spend wonderful great visits with my boys and I am soooo happy..... Just make sure you are not settling and tell the guy what you want and expect...... Good luck and there are prince charmings out there.... I have found mine!!!! (my divorce has not been all fun and games, I have had a few problems with my kids, but for the most part! Its great)
Re: Too soon? I need advice! MustangSally: Had I been paying attention, I would have just replied to you before I posted my own similar question. I, obviously, do not know the answer. But I am in the same boat. I met a great guy, my friends/family are concerned that it's too soon. I, on the other hand, share your concerns. I don't want to hurt him. But I also don't feel like I have any idea what I'm doing. I'm also questioning the relationship's validity because it's, well, too easy. After being divorced, easy seems impossible. How do we know? If you've had any great advice on your question that isn't posted, please pass it along!
