Re: Need Advice BAD! Wife wants to move out-TOGETHER Ilosther: Financially, we can both afford apartments separately, and still have a good savings cushion. So I dont feel she is using me to get out of her parents house. But since she can't wait till sept to get own place, maybe she's using me to get out that way, if we can find something together.
But, as far as roomates, we haven't discussed any of this, since this was all fresh as of this morning. But even in the beginning of talks of separation, there was no dating agreed upon. But I am really starting to think she has seeked someone else or even just felt a spark with someone else that she might feel guilty about.
but then why agree to move out with me? even if it is just for our son? I mean, in all this, she said she would never stay in an unhappy marriage just for our son. now, she's unhappy but wants to move in together. I believe we will still be married, unless she secretly got us divorced today.
I can't comprehend her thinking and it's killing me to try. If she still wants her own place, as long as she keeps looking and can wait, by all means, move out on her own. We'll stick with out separation arrangements, even if our son will be split between us.
But man, she has to say what she means, cuz I know she doesnt want to move in with me. Is she really just giving up on herself just for the child, when she said she would never do that?
I guess in a couple hours I will have to face the music and face her. I wont say anything until she speaks first. I do want to die right about now, this is too much. But I gotta stick this out, whatever the outcome or her decisions or words or actions.
Just sucks that I'm along for the ride, making me sick to the stomach.
Re: Need Advice BAD! Wife wants to move out-TOGETHER Lumpy: Dear HaveHope,
I think that you need to give her the space that she's asking you for. Sounds to me like she is only agreeing to this to placate you. I know how hard it is to walk away, believe me, but I don't think the two of you are going to resolve this living under one roof. (At least for now.) I feel your love for this woman in your writing. Give her what she wants. Don't give up hope...
Re: Need Advice BAD! Wife wants to move out-TOGETHER Ilosther: how do i tell her not to move in with me anymore and get her own place? she is now deadset on this. but i know she is just doing it for me to stop buggin her, ha, sounds odd.
i guess i just wont sign up for the apt together. she needs her space, i agree, i need to let her go, i agree, and i can't even sit in the same room with her anymore, so i dont think we will be able to live under one roof.
but what if it can work? what if getting out of her parents house and start doing things as our own family helps?
so many what ifs, i dont know which path to take. all i know this wont be the space she needs, but then why did she agree to it? is this just her self sacrificing attitude, or is she really trying to work it out?
the tension between me and her is so ugly now. and i didn't do anything bad to her, honestly. i still offer her to get her own place, but she just says, fine, we'll get one together. now do i force her to get her own place?
i really dont want to be the first to move out on my own, but do i have to to save this marriage?
oh god, i know she is gone, why are we doing this!?
Re: Need Advice BAD! Wife wants to move out-TOGETHER sourpuss: there's no reason the 2 of you can't live apart and spend time together with your child as a family.
if you are working towards being together, then just don't sign a long-term lease. if you get back together, one of you moves in with the other.
this doesn't have to be the ending, it can be a time for you both the re-examine your roles in the relationship and how you would like them to be in the future.
tell her you think BOTH of you need some space and suggest the above.
Re: Need Advice BAD! Wife wants to move out-TOGETHER Lumpy: Dear HaveHope,
I wouldn't be so quick to say that she's gone, I don't think that is necessarily the case. I think you just need to let it go FOR NOW. Maybe she wont enjoy her life in your absence. Try and give her the room she needs to make this determination. I'd just approach her and tell her you know that she needs this time and you want her to have it. I honestly think this might improve things for you. Show her that you have the strength, and the trust in her, to let her do this by herself. She knows that you are there for her. The true test for you will be having the will to stay away until she expresses a need for you..Stay Strong...
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