Re: A loan for the real cost of an affair? MaraJade: [quote author=sourpuss link=topic=14547.msg121728#msg121728 date=1120753514">
i will say to you the same thing i would say to your WIFE:
once a cheater, always a cheater.
[/quote">
Not necessarily true, but I'd have to agree in the sense that she doesn't seem like the best bet. Sounds like you're really torn. Sorry for your situation. I hope it will all work out okay for you and your family.
Re: A loan for the real cost of an affair? mozart101: Personally I think you need to evaluate why you think this co-worker is so compatible and why your wife does not offer this same compatibility? Do you have fun with your wife? Do you try to go out and do some of the activities that drew you to her in the beginning? Do you think she has grown stale or into a rut that she doesn't want to get out? Find a good baby-sitter. Go out and do things with her. Talk to her about what it is she likes to do. Forgetting to have fun and getting bogged down in a routine due to house work kids bills can really take a toll on life. But it's not gonna change unless you make it change. And you need to be pro-active. Make consciouss efforts to not sit around and watch TV (I personally cancelled my TV and I really do not miss it) This other woman was a freedom from all the routine in life IMO but life is routine only if you let it become routine. I will say that kids always make it more difficult - you can't just get up and go on a moments notice - but if you put in a little effort and stick in there you will find it gets easier to plan events and make life fun for everyone. It sounds like your wife is very open and trustworthy and IMO those are very important qualities if you want to find your life fulfilling.
All in all only you can change your situation and I think that this other woman simply opened your eyes a little bit to the fact that you need to have more fun in your life. So do it - your wife might be more fun than you currently realize!
Good luck!
Re: A loan for the real cost of an affair? sf7: Wow, this is amazing. You are all giving really really good advice. I mean seriously. Thank you.
Clarifications:
1 - I changed jobs (severed all communication with the girl)
2 - Took my wife to Mexico, New York and plans to go to British Columbia
3 - "once a cheater always a cheater", maybe...but in my case, this has given me conviction and understanding as to what to avoid. Never again in my case.
I really appreciate your responses.
Re: A loan for the real cost of an affair? lemondrop: [quote author=sf7 link=topic=14547.msg121758#msg121758 date=1120755479">
Clarifications:
1 - I changed jobs (severed all communication with the girl)
[/quote">
EXCELLENT! Now, just don't pick up the phone to dial the other woman. Delete her number. Get her out of your head. Post here. Think about your wife. Find reasons to like her again (not just love). You might just need to re-connect with her to find what it was that made you go bonkers for her way before "the real world" got in the way of all the fun you were having with her in the first place. Best wishes.
Re: A loan for the real cost of an affair? sourpuss: yep - if you want life to be fun & interesting, you have to put the effort to make it that way.
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