I am going crazy and really need some help.. emcee: This is first post here but I love this place I think its great that people can share feelings here without looking crazy. My story is so long that I am going to keep it short as possible. I was with this girl for 6 years we have 2 kids together. We split up about a year ago, but I believe it was caused by another man but she wont fess up. Her constatant hanging with friends(15 hrs+ a day) began to give me anxiety and panic attacks and this was her reason for leaving. We still hang out alot, matter of fact we drove 400 miles this weekend for the 4th to stay with my parents. She uses my cars and lots of other things. We dont have a sexual relationship. She admitted to kissing 2 of these "friends" over the past year since our split. I believe she had sex with one of them and it is driving me crazy. I wish she would just admit it to me, this guy she has liked for a long time I believe. I just want to know so I can rip the wound wide open and it can begin to heal, I am tired of feeling crazy and loseing sleep etc, any ideas?
Re: I am going crazy and really need some help.. emcee: I could really use some help.........
Re: I am going crazy and really need some help.. AloneandCold: Have you considered the possibility that she didn't sleep with any of them? Sure it sounds like she did but maybe what sounds like a duck is really a dog with a cold. Sorry I cannot be of more help, but think about it, what if you are wrong?
Re: I am going crazy and really need some help.. JerniganReturns: This may be inappropriate, but: sorry to say, she *may* have slept with someone. It's certainly a possibility, and you seem to recognize that.
Yes, jealousy will drive you crazy. Look, we ALL go a little crazy sometimes, and that's perfectly fine. Here's something, if you want crazy: I could care less if my STBX is sleeping with her current boyfriend. I hope she is, in fact; all the more power to her. But then I have a "friend" right now that I never had such a deep emotional relationship with, and it drives me crazy with anger and jealousy to know that she's shacking up with other people. She tries to hide it, but it's painfully obvious. I get so, so angry sometimes, so much so that I think, "Well, if you can't beat em, join em." Meaning, okay, well I'll just be a dirty old dog too---screw it.
Try not to think about it. If possible, try not to PICTURE it. The relationship sounds pretty much over, right? You only have a plutonic relationship now. Don't let her see you get riled, because this may be what she wants. Play it cool. Get some friends yourself and try to have a good time. Sounds like stupid advice, possibly, and advice some people on here might spurn, but that's my stance.
Just take it easy, pal. If the worst case scenerio is true, it's probable that her current partner will be going through one day what you're going through now. And, at the end of the day, is she even worth all this fretting?
Re: I am going crazy and really need some help.. sourpuss: becominganewme is right.
opening that wound will not help you to heal. picking at the scab just makes the scar worse.
if she says she slept with him, you will just start wondering was it really only after you split, was he better than you, if she lied about that, what else is she lying about...? on and on.
it will bring you a world of new pain. and you still won't believe what she tells you.
it doesn't sound like you entirely made the transition to "just friends" yet. you are not together anymore, it doesn't matter anymore.
try hard to let this go.
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