the aniversary starzluv: Well, yesterday was our first aniversary since he said he wanted out of the marriage. it was hard, but i'm still here. he ended up sleeping almost all day, so that was the easy part. then when he finally woke up, he desided to go out. i don't even think he relized what the day was. he knows how hard this whole thing has been on me, especially since we are still living together. i spent all night after he left crying. i don't think he went to see his "thing", but the thought that he might have hurts more then anything. i just wish he would have at least let me know that he knew what day it was. i still don't think he relizes what day yesterday was. i never wanted any of this, and i guess i'm still hoping he will change his mind. everything is so confusing because he is still acting like we are just this normal happy couple. he sleeps here (sometimes on the couch, but for the most part he still comes in and lays down in bed next to me) he still wants me to be the same wife he's had. he doesn't think the way i treat him should be any different. i am the typical stay at home mom that you see on old T.V. shows. i stay home and take care of not only the kids, but him. if it wasn't for me, he wouldn't eat. anyways, back to the issue, as hard as it was i made it through the night.
Re: the aniversary sparks: I know that this is very hard. I just went thru the same thing. Just remember you will get past this and you will be great. Get your new home and continue on with the plans you have. I would suggest that you make him sleep on the couch from now on. distance yourself and dont take care of him. Let him see what hes missing. But most of all. Take care of you and your kids. Dont be nice. He will take advantage of that and use you for whatever he can. And for goodness sake get the car from him and drive around or do whatever. Just get out of the house! there is so much out there that you are missing. Get involved in a church. You will meet new people and get stronger.
Re: the aniversary LostTeacher: my first anniversary without him is in 13 days. not looking forward to it. but it's not like we talk anymore, so hopefully that will make it go all the more better. i am trying to make sure that i have some friends around to make it easier, but already i know my best friend is going to be out of town that week, and another one is on vacation in europe. so i might just end of facing it with family. not really looking forward to the whole thing, and it might be the reason why i am feeling so crappy these last few days.
it's good to hear that others can make it through, even if it was hard. i have made it through every other major event, this is pretty much the last one (have done the christmas holidays, b-days and things like that already).
Re: the aniversary amola: the 4th of july was the 7th anniversary of our first date.....it was an ok day for me. kinda' moody, but i wasn't feeling well physically either. i made a batch of brownies and drove out to my matron of honor's mother's house, because my m.o.h. was back in town from alabama, and i spent the evening with her and some mutual friends. i was standing up watching the fireworks and she came up behind me and put her arm around my shoulders and i teared up a bit, but i didn't lose it.
of course, i'm thinking about losing it just sitting here and typing about it.....
yeah, ok, the anniversary did suck. can't talk myself out of it anymore i guess. wedding anniversary would be august 14--we'll see how i handle that day.... ::)
Re: the aniversary jen: All the firsts were hard for me in one way or another...the holidays, each of our birthdays, anniversary of when we started dating, wedding anniversary. In some ways, I am somewhat glad that I got the wedding anniversary out of the way first - it was only a few months after he left and we had been planning on taking a vacation to Mexico. Since I had already requested the vacation time, I took a vacation to Palm Springs and Las Vegas with my mom with me and that point I really needed the mental break...
Just keep hanging in there and things will get better.
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