Re: Broken and Fixed at the same time Kermie: I agree wowee I was so busy during my marriage trying to make her happy that i missed out on alot of good time with my kids which I am now making up for. I just enjoy being with my kids more and more each day. Don't get me wrong I did things with them before. It was always me who tucked them in at night and took them out to different events. But now I can really focus on them and do fun things, like 2 weeks ago we went to NYC something I have always wanted them to see and it was a blast just the three of us. Life is just different now and its what we make it. I think once I wasn't concerned about what she was missing and how she was the one who threw it all away things went so much smoother and I don't even think about her when i have my kids with me.
Re: Broken and Fixed at the same time wowee: Good for you Kermie. It's hard to believe we missed out on so much before isn't it? I know I have a whole scrapbook full of pictures of my son & his dad because I was the one always taking pictures. Now I am so bummed there are hardly any pictures of me & my son together. It's as if I wasn't there for so many events, only his dad was. And now with my daughter I have no one to take pictures still. :-\
Re: Broken and Fixed at the same time down south xhubbie: This is an excellent post. With the things I've learned, I think the changes that I've made in myself would offer me a much greater chance of making it with the right person.
With the three things that you mentioned in regard to doubt/questioning yourself, trust, and fear, I can relate to struggling with two of those issues. My problem with 'trust' was your problem in reverse. I wasn't very trusting of my wife due in part to insecurity and a cheating girlfriend. I came to the realization that I had to trust the woman that I was with. (innocent until shown to be guilty). IOW, trust is a must.
However, with the two other issues of self doubt and fear, I've also struggled with those two things. It's inevitable to question your perception as in "why didn't I see how major the problems were with us? or will I be that blind again in my next relationship?" which brings up the next issue of fear... fear that there will not be a next 'relationship." You ask yourself, "what if I missed out on the 'one'?" "have I blown my one chance at true relationship happiness?"
Once I've worked on my faults, I just need to have faith that she'll be there when I'm at the right place in my life.
Re: Broken and Fixed at the same time barelybreathing: Yes. Very much so!
Mostly, I just feel hollow.
I admire my strength but am completely shocked but my weaknesses.
I feel like there is no safety net below me anymore.
I question my judgment too. Oh and the trust issue? Yeah....it's a tough one.
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