Re: Question for the Guys riversandlakes: [quote author=hurting link=topic=15019.msg125925#msg125925 date=1121285908">
Ok - so I have this question - it may be men from mars, women from venus kinda thing.
When you are in a happy relationship, do you need space to get away from her once in awhile?
I have noticed that things will be going amazingly good for such a long time, then all of a sudden he becomes distant for a few days and keeps to himself. I know men and women are different..is that why?
he told me he has a fear of committment? is it because he is getting freaked out?
Anyone have any opinion they want to share? would be welcomed
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imho, been through this near-death near-insanity experience, NOW i have a fear of commitment - even on the girlfriend level, let alone marriage. I'll wait, and because i can afford to, not because i want to :-\
i for one shall never request for "space and time". it's something like eating raw fish for me - never crossed my mind to try it, because i firmly believe in open communication. "space and time" was once abused on me to check out the OM. and ojar has proven it time and again. rarely it was "space and time" literally, sad to say.
of course, your mileage will always vary...
i never felt the need to get away from her even once in this four years. if i could, i wanted to be with her always - suggested twice to move out together, but she went "marry me first" with a twinkle in the eye...
oh, i need a cold shower :'(
Re: Question for the Guys hudson: Not knowing the specifics of your situation (ie. is he recently from a bad breakup?), I would say it boils down to needing to maintain his own identity, independence somewhat. Also, women can tend to beat the trivial things to death, which of course are not trivial to women but are trivial to men, therefore, after men have had it up to their ears with all the talky talky, naggy naggy, some will just withdraw themselves from the intimacy and pressure for a little while. I used to go on long motorcycle rides, hikes, and shove my head in the oven for long periods of time to get away from my exw's incessant, stressful babble. Although I must qualify, my exw waden't quite right in the head. j/k...not.
Re: Question for the Guys Discarded: I also think SPACE is a joke. I always have time for my fiancee, wife, significant other in all of my activities. I can't think of anything that I am not willing to share. I do however need time to do those things. If she wants to come and share - GREAT if not I do need the time to do those things. It's not about SPACE, but about doing the things I love and make me who I am.
An example of that is that I love to fish and I love to boat. My fiancee also likes to fish, but cannot go over her waist in water so will not go on a boat of any size - long story. I always invite her when I go boating/fishing, but she declines when a boat is involved. I always try to find the time to go boating when things are easy for her at home and she is rested. It's not about getting away from her, I would love for her to join me.
I do need some quiet time if I've had a hectic/stressful day. I like to share that quiet time if possible though even if it's just simply cuddling on the couch watching a movie. I need the unwind time whether alone or together. The best quiet time for me is cuddling, quiet stressfree talking with just about any movie playing to pass some time so I can unwind.
Discarded
Re: Question for the Guys flamingo13: [quote author=hurting link=topic=15019.msg125925#msg125925 date=1121285908">
Anyone have any opinion they want to share? would be welcomed
[/quote">
As a man, I never really needed 'space' in the sense that you were writing.
As for my male friends... the only times I have heard them say they needed 'space' was when they were unhappy, unsure about being with her, or looking for greener pastures.
For the most part, we men are a simple lot. We tend to stay put when we are happy and content. We don't like to 'rock the boat' when all is good for us.
I don't know about your particular details so I don't want to make you paranoid, but those are my two cents.
Re: Question for the Guys ChiefWiggum: Agreed, space is a joke.
Hurting: What does he do when he withdraws from you?
I like sailing and computers (to name two things) and my stbxw definately applied pressure on me to not do these things (spend time with her instead) and I didn't like that. Hopefully you give him some time to do what he wants to do even if it does not involved you.
CW
