Re: when the ex comes back kerplunk: hey
Re: when the ex comes back riversandlakes: [quote author=Maverick link=topic=15024.msg126050#msg126050 date=1121300011">
I was more than happy to tell her exactly where she could go with that.
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what did you tell her to go with that? interested...
Re: when the ex comes back sourpuss: well, my stbx has not come crawling back, but my answer is both/neither.
i think many leave (cheating or not) becuase they know they are unhappy but do not know why.
when something isn't right in our lives, quite often the marriage suffers, creating problems that were not there before, giving the feeling that somethign is wrong with "the marriage". ie, if one is unappreciated or overburdened, one might pick fights with the spouse (unconciously) to get attention. the other spouse feels picked at and withdraws further.
i think these people come back because they realize that they aren't any happier on the outside of the relationship, so maybe that wasn't the problem.
the flaw in that theory is that they STILL don't know why they are unhappy, and the same pattern will repeat itself.
round and round it goes.....
Re: when the ex comes back kchopper5: Well I just went through this. My stbxw tried to come crawling back after she discovered that the OM wasn't all she made him out to be. It took me 4 days of being together with her that she just didn't seem sincere. I do think she realized that she didn't know what she had until it was gone but I also believe she is petrified to have to fend for herself without someone holding her hand through all the curveballs life throws you.
I did some soul searching and realized that I don't think it is the 8 months of her getting boned by another man that is unforgivable it is the words and comparisons and the justifications she used to do it that is unforgivable and unforgettable.
Re: when the ex comes back riversandlakes:
"I did some soul searching and realized that I don't think it is the 8 months of her getting boned by another man that is unforgivable it is the words and comparisons and the justifications she used to do it that is unforgivable and unforgettable."
Your soul-searching found the truth. it was the level she could stoop that was shocking. the grabbing of even thin air moleculese to justify cheating. it made me wonder, "who the h*ll is this?!"
my ex didn't tell much about her past before me, but at that time i thought she did, and i guess i should have seen this red flag. so i guess she has shared herself before me - no big deal.
it's the lies, and the lack of remorse...
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