Re: Drama + question about saving the marriage ajw: Have you considered counselling,often having that impartial person that both of you can vent your feelings too is helpful.It does'nt necessarily mean your relationship will work,but it lets both of you get your feelings out without it turning into a fight.From your posts we can all tell you still love your wife,but i know your afraid that once you let her back in your life and in your heart again that she will just leave again.....and we all know how much that hurts.
Good luck
Andy
Re: Drama + question about saving the marriage Lome: Chief,
I am such a romantic....
I am cheering for you....
I will not lie to you....it is great, scary, sad, and everything else....
You have to draw a line in time and think.....I will not dwell here.
I still have days when the affair just knocks me on my behind.....
And I have moments where it is just so good to be loved that way again that I wish I could share it with the world....
If it does not work for us, I will be crushed...but, I will know that I gave it everything I had....I was willing to do anything to try.....
If there is any chance that you may want to try again....think and think hard.
How does she feel? Could you walk away and never see her again, and still be happy?
Pray....think....and then talk to her......
You will make the right choice. I just want you to know that it is possible to at least try again....
But, if you decide against it....know that we will be here to give you support.
PM if you want to talk....
Good luck
Re: Drama + question about saving the marriage flamingo13: [quote author=ChiefWiggum link=topic=15035.msg126196#msg126196 date=1121314892">
In a moment of weakness, I made a suprise 4 hour drive to her, arriving at 2:30am. Guess who's in her bedroom drinking wine and chatting? The other man. :(
[/quote">
Sounds more like your radar is working. It was working for me in my first marriage and it works in my current marriage.
Before my second marriage, I made sure my bride to be understood that she should always expect unannounced visits as well as I expected to be visited unannounced. Everytime, I saw some bad stuff. If she ever visited me unannounced, I never noticed. I guess there was nothing to see to she stopped checking.
My radar has always worked well. It was when I ignored warning signs and then ignored my radar that the biggest problems happened.
If you both want to be together, I think it should work ok. My wife and I are still together. The list that lome posted (thanks!) is a really good one. All the points are important, but pay special attention to 1 and remember to each make the choice to love the other. That is important.
Last bit of advice, your relationship does not seem to do so well when you two are apart for long. So I would try to avoid too many overnight trips apart and long distances apart. Our marriage did not do well with such things either. The affairs, etc always happened when I was on business trips/school/etc.
Don't forget some good councelling. Together is good, but some apart for yourself to help deal with what you are dealing with.
I wish you well.
