She still loves me but just needs here space? Slash: I'm not sure if I can fit all of the details here but here goes. My wife and I have been married 10 years and have 2 wonderful kids. My wife comes from a very female dominated family and as such brought that into our relationship. She rarely did much that didn't include me and certainly never allowed me to do anything that didn't include her. I tolerated all of this up until a couple of years ago. Basically, I lost it and said I couldn't take it anymore and I wanted to leave. Finally, she "heard" me and we ended up in counselling and it never came to me leaving. As a result she battled her upbringing and changed and started to allow me the time to pursue things that didn't include her or our family. I really don't do much but play hockey once or twice a week but it's exactly what I needed to balance my life. Now, the whole thing has flipped on me. Basically, she has taken up going out with "friends" at night to have a few drinks (sometimes too many) and listen to some rock bands. I've played in a few bands and certainly know their type. One of the friends that she regularly goes out with is a single guy and the other is her best friend from HS that is a true party girl and is currently going through a divorce. I know the guy from the few times that I have been out with him and he certainly seems like a decent guy. He's quite a bit older than us and certainly wouldn't be her type if anyone is thinking that. My wife and I have both wondered if he might be gay but then again you never know. Her best friend is a true party girl that has always been attracted to the wrong types of guys which is probably a fair explanation for her pending divorce. A couple weeks ago she went to see a band play a good distance from where we live and "suggested" that if she drank too much and wasn't able to drive home she would stay in a hotel with her girlfriend. I told her that that bothered me and I really just wanted her to come home. Obviously, she didn't take that to heart as she called me at about 3 in the morning stating that her girlfriend and her were drunk and they were just trying to make it to her girlfriend's house. She said she drank too much and wanted to stay at her girlfriend's house. There was nothing I could say other than OK because I didn't want her driving drunk. Well from that time on I've just been going crazy. She insists that that was an accident and she didn't understand that it would bother me. For the most part I've always trusted her because I never had a reason not to and have always allowed her the opportunity to do what she wants. I do trust my wife but I've never trusted her girlfriend and what situations she's capable of. Since then she has gone out, controlled her drinking and been driving herself home safely. Recently, she joined a gym in order to lose a few pounds and wants to continue to go out as well. I'm able to go with her occasionally but not always because sometimes I have to stay with the kids. Also, she totally shaved a very private area of her body and said it was "just for me". I love it and we have spent a good deal of time appreciating it. She says she loves me but just needs some time out. She's a stay at home mom so I can totally understand it. My biggest concern is that I sense that there is a new distance between us. I have told her that I am insanely in love with her and just want to be with her. Our sex is still good too. She insists that she hasn't changed the way she feels about me while at the same time if I tell her I love her too much or try to cuddle a lot she says she feels smothered. I understand needing to get out of the house but it bothers me that all of the time she wants to go out is the during the time that we used to spend together. It feels like she wants to get away from me. I've told her how I feel and she just tells me I'm reading too much into it. She insists that she loves me and is not intentionally spending time away from me. I can go out with her anytime if I want to. Of course I know all of these could be tell-tale signs of cheating but they also could be just a wife enjoying life like she should. She and I have always agreed that cheating is absolutely wrong and I really don't have any good reason to think it but I can't help but wonder. The wondering and suspicion is effecting my work and driving me mad. I know this may be an area of the internet that could be a bit "tainted" but I was in the area and just thought I might find some support/ideas to making some sense of this all.
Re: She still loves me but just needs here space? ajw: ok...no offence...but suddenly shaving "a certain area of her body"....thats not for you ok.....thats for someone new.....believe me,i've encountered that little happening twice and both times was because they had taken a new lover who "liked the feel"
good luck
Andy
Re: She still loves me but just needs here space? Samarra: Maybe it was just time to trim the hedge.
OK...OK...it's odd...of course we have all read the "rule-book" on what to look out for when you suspect your mate of cheating. Most of the times...it's correct...but don't jump.
Ask her...if she won't talk to you...keep an eye on her.
Her drinking and past attitude would suggest a further look.
Re: She still loves me but just needs here space? Slash: Yeah, the shaving thing is definitely bothersome. The only thing that I didn't include is that just prior to her doing it we had a rather long discussion about her showing me more attention. This was claimed to be in response to that conversation. She did it when I had run to the store and when I got home the first thing she did was grab my hand and rub it with my hand while looking straight in my eyes with a devilish smile. I could be just hopeful but we have spent plenty of time enjoying it since then.
Re: She still loves me but just needs here space? Lome: hey slash....
dude, your marriage is in trouble. something is not clicking....it is summer...now is the time to trim those hedges....but, getting drunk and not coming home....not good.
good luck
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